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The second part of this posting calls you to do a thorough review of a partner's results/discussion sections. The peer review is due by April 17th. You must review the work of a student who has not had his/her work reviewed as yet. Also, you must review the work of a student who you did NOT cover in our in-class peer review.
It will help to leave a brief message below someone's original posting indicating that you plan to review their work (so while you are doing the review someone else doesn't snap up your review and leave you in trouble). I recommend leaving an original message below someone's posting that reads something along the lines of: "I will cover your peer review." Once someone leaves this posting, it will help ensure that everyone gets a review.
Please carefully follow the instructions for the peer review:
Peer-Review Discussion/Results
You should
complete multiple reads of your partner’s piece (one or two reads will not cut
it).
Copy and paste the posting(s) into a
word document.
Number each paragraph and on a separate word document write a once sentence synopsis of each paragraph’s topic and purpose. Leave ample space between so you can write and elaborate further on each paragraph. If a paragraph seems to be going in multiple directions, note the different directions the paragraph takes and explore connections between divergent ideas.
Note key support for each paragraph Evaluate how well the support/details are implemented.
How well does the paragraph establish context and evidence? Is there a need for
more details to expand a point or a need for more evidence or perhaps analysis
of evidence to help deliver a point?
Create a
ranking system to identify which
paragraphs are most effective and which ones are less effective.
Following your discoveries and inferences from your above sections, underscore
aspects from each paragraph that need improvement and establish criteria for
what works well in paragraphs that are strong and well developed. Look at
transitions between different paragraphs and explore ways to improve transitions
from one paragraph to the next.
Next, read
the paper once more through; identify and look
for a main point of theme that guides the results/discussion. From your previous analysis, and multiple
read-throughs, determine what central claim is being presented. How clearly
stated is the central finding? How can it be better stated? If there are a
series of important claims, how could those claims be organized under one
larger umbrella claim?
Come up with at least two questions to help the writer think critically
about the direction of the results/discussion sections. What do you as a reader
want to know more about? Where is the
piece most effective and why? Which details and part of the essay stand out as
most memorable and effective and why? Where does this piece need to be improved?
Be specific in your commentary of your peer’s work.
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ReplyDeleteSarah Britton
ReplyDeleteLonghany
ENC 1102
9 April 2014
Results
After the interview was conducted and analyzed, it was clear to see that there are different communication gaps between genders that present themselves throughout different generation eras. One of the most influential differences that was found was how texting hinders and helps relationships between genders. Males and females of younger generation couples stated that texting was beneficial to their relationship because it allowed them to communicate while they were away from each other. However, younger generation couples also agreed that texting could sometimes cause frustrations in certain situations; for example, arguing over text. The frustrations expressed about texting could lead to a miscommunication between the opposing genders. Some females in younger generation couples also expressed that texting made it easier for their significant other to lie and even cheat; one couple even admitted to almost breaking up because of the trust issues that texting had caused.
As generations increased, texting became less relied on. This could be because (1) older generations didn’t grow up around technology and therefore don’t rely on it, or (2) older generation couples usually see enough of each other as it is and don’t need texting as a mode of communication. Couples of older generations said that texting was convenient sometimes, but that it is more of a hassle to use. Views on the effects of texting on communication barriers vary depending on the couple. However, I do believe that texting needs to be less relied on as a way of communication in order to have better, real life, social skills. It is very frustrating to talk to someone who is constantly hiding behind their phones—this could affect relationships of many sorts, not just romantic relationships.
Another glaringly obvious difference in the ways different generations communicated with their significant other was who they blamed for the communication barriers. Older generations were very understanding of the fact that opposing genders communicate differently. They saw this is a fact of life that a person has to deal with in a relationship. Older couples had learned how to express themselves and their emotions in a way that their partner could understand. However, older couples admitted there are still times when communication does get misinterpreted, but instead of getting upset, most have learned to cope with these misinterpretations in a better way.
Couples in younger generations were not as understanding of the differences in communication between genders. Younger couples tended to blame their partner for communication misinterpretations. One boy stated that his girlfriend always gets so offended by his jokes and then he gets upset because she gets so sensitive. However, from the girl’s perspective his jokes are “sometimes rude and degrading.” I asked this girl if maybe she was just misinterpreting his jokes to which she replied that she thinks that her boyfriend is simply insensitive to her feelings sometimes. This is just one example of how younger couples blamed each other for their different communication methods; when interviewed, miscommunications were almost always the opposing gender’s fault.
One thing that older and younger generations had in common were their views on how romantic movies effect relationships. Females always stated that romantic films effected the way they viewed relationships. Females want to be “wooed” like in the movies—they want a modern day prince charming to come riding up in his white Mustang convertible and sweep them off their feet. Both younger and older generation females said that, at times, they might hold higher standards than necessary for their significant other due to romantic films they’ve watched. Men, however, are completely oblivious to this. All males that were interviewed said that romantic films have no effect on the way they view relationships and that they realize these films are not reality. One man said that romantic films are “fantasies and have little to no connection to real life relationships.” From this data we can see that romantic films have been playing a role in relationships and the communication gaps for many generations.
ReplyDeleteFrom the data gathered, it is clear the generation does play a role in the communication gap between genders. Texting has caused both positive and negative communication barriers in younger couples while having almost no influence on older couples. Younger couples continue to blame others for communication barriers and, while we hope this is from a lack of maturity that has yet to develop, it might be caused by the supposedly selfish behavior of the current generation. In earlier generations, males were taught to be courteous and gentlemanly from their World War II veteran fathers. Today, males can hide behind texting and blaming others. Females have also contributed to this communication barrier because of their growing independence and equality in society; men may be more intimidated by women in current times because they pose a threat to their hierarchy ranking.
I will be doing your peer review
Delete1. The first paragraph is use to give a context of the research, as well as some data that was collected during the experiment. I think the first paragraph is too broad; it doesn't give enough information about the gender trend that you are trying to research. I do like the allegory. However, I think the state that “all males that were interviewed” can be stronger if you apply more information about the males that you interviewed (such as the ages of the male). Furthermore, I believes that if you add in information about how the interviews were conducted (group or individual), it would makes first paragraph more concrete.
DeleteI think the first paragraph is stronger than the second paragraph
2. The second paragraph consist of mostly claims about communication gap between genders. The second paragraph can be stronger if you have elaborated on how the data were gathered and what result do these data present. There are a lot of claims made in the second paragraph but the claims have no concrete evidence to support them. I believes the second paragraph is weaker than the first paragraph, because in the first paragraph, you integrated a quote from one of the participant in your experiment, which makes the claims in the first paragraph stronger.
Questions:
1. Did you also interview females’ references on romantic movies? If so, what were the results, and how do they contribute to your claims of communication in gender gap?
2. How reliable are your data to your claims?
Analyzing Definitions
ReplyDeleteWhen asked to define creativity, the students surveyed came to similar conclusions, which was to be expected. The most common terms used when defining creativity included “unique”, “new” and “thinking outside the box”. Such definitions were used by previous studies when working with creativity, and in my study are the most universally used definitions. 10 of the 18 University students who were surveyed used either “unique”, “new” or “thinking outside the box “ when asked to define creativity, illustrating the majority of students’ perception of what constitutes creativity to be congruent. These definitions came from both Privately and publicly educated students, which implies that the two institutions defined creativity using the same basic principles. The similarity in subjects’ definitions of creativity was extremely significant to the rest of the survey. Majority of students had similar understanding of what creativity meant and because of this, the rest of their answers when discussing creativity would be comparable.
What was not expected in analyzing the subjects’ definitions of creativity was the amount of students who included the term “value” in their definition. A definition given by a student was “something that is new and valuable” which implies that an idea must not only be original but also must have purpose. A respondent when asked to define creativity said that they “literally [didn’t] know” what creativity meant. All university students should have some understanding of creativity because it is a quality, which employers and companies are looking for in employees today. Even 1 of 18 University students not being able to come up with a definition for creativity is 1 too many and suggests that primary schools are not putting enough value on creativity.
When asked weather or not subjects “feel you fully understand what creative-thinking means” 10 students responded with “yes”, this meaning that 8 of the 18 did not feel confident that they understood how to think creatively. This is a striking difference from the single respondent who would not define creativity. This finding implies that students, who could define the term creativity, did not know what creative thinking was.
Analysis:
The consistency of the subject’s definitions of creativity shows a more concrete understanding of what the term means. As discussed previously, in understanding what creativity means in research, it is easier to conduct studies which wish to measure and understand others views on creativity. The overwhelming consistency in the subject’s definitions was not mirrored in the results from question 7 in the short answer which asked students “Do you feel you fully understand what creative thinking means?.” The gap in understanding when it came to the term “creativity” and “creative-thinking” implies that students comprehend the definition of creativity but show less confidence in their ability to utilize creativity in thought. While understanding creativity is essential to its use, it is in using it in our everyday thought process that we produce new and novel ideas
Comparing and Contrasting Privately and Publicly Educated Students
ReplyDeleteThe 18 UCF students who participated in the study were given a 7-question questionnaire to fill out in which the answer choices ranged from “strongly agree” to “strongly disagree”. The questionnaire aimed to understand the private or public student’s perception of how well creativity was rendered in their education prior to attending the university. In comparing the responses from those who attended public or private school, those who attended Private school overall felt more confident in their creative abilities. Previous research on creativity in the classroom, which interviewed teachers, came to similar conclusions, and so this was to be expected. The differences were not drastic but significant enough.
The initial question asked “Do you feel you’re publicly or private pre-collegiate education prepared you to think creatively?” and only 33% or publicly educated students agreed while 55% of privately educated students agreed to that statement. Students were asked in the short answer portion of the survey “How well they felt their school taught them to think creatively” and a student who attended public school responded “not very much because it was so closed off to FCAT” while another one said “I don’t think it did because everything came with a rubric.” Students who attended private schools also came to similar conclusions blaming lack of creative thinking on uniformity, as one privately educated student stated “ we were very limited with our creativity because we had a strict uniform policy.” When asked “Do you feel your work was rewarded for using original ideas?” 77% of privately educated students agreed while only 44% of public students agreed to this statement.
The research aimed to understand how well privately and publicly educated students felt they were prepared to think creatively at the university level and this was best answered when subject were asked if they feel they do well on assignments which require creativity, and then in the short-answer question, which classes are challenging at the university with regards to creative thinking? 44% of publicly educated students agreed that they believe they do well on their college assignment, which require creativity, while 55% of privately educated students agreed with this statement. The private and public difference was not drastic but again favored privately educated students. Many of subjects said that they struggle the most with regards to creative thinking in their English classes, one student who claimed that English 2 was their most difficult class said “English 2 made me think outside of the box.” (this student was a privately educated student). A publicly educated student said when asked In what ways have your university level classes been challenging in regards to thinking creatively?, “English and government papers, and SLS class.” Both public and private school students most commonly reported that with regards to creativity they were most challenged in writing and English courses.
When it came to the questions in the survey which aimed to understand how important the subjects felt creativity in the education system was, the findings in public and private schools students were similar. 44% of Publicly and Privately educated students STRONGLY agreed that creativity in education is an important issue. Students were asked “Do you think you could have benefited from
learning more creative-thinking strategies?” and 14 of the 18 surveyed responded “yes.” This is a staggering amount of university students who believe that their education could have benefitted more if they had been better prepared to think creatively. A privately educated student who answered yes to the question commented that it would be beneficial to “writ[ing] more freely.”
ReplyDeleteThe statistical data collected pointed in the favor of private schools when it came to preparing students to think more creatively. The deviance was not great however and the findings were extremely similar when it came to privately and publicly educated students. Public students attributed to their lack of creative rendering to standardized tests like FCAT yet privately educated students did the same blaming it on “strict uniform policy.” While standardized tests and strict policy are different, they both, according to university student, hindered creative thought.
Once coming to the university most students, both public and private, claimed that English and writing were their most difficult subjects. English and Writing are both courses which require creative thinking implying, while not directly, that students found classes in which creativity is essential tend to be the most challenging. The large percent of respondents who believe that they could benefit from learning more creative-thinking strategies, illustrates the need for better implementation of creativity before coming to university. Acknowledging the need for more creative-thinking strategies in both public and private schools is a major issue which should not be ignored by educators.
Most importantly regardless of weather the students attended a public or private schools the importance of creativity within education was supported by all of the respondents. Not one subject disagreed that creativity was important within education. This may be the most significant finding within the study because it brings to light the universally accepted truth that we need creativity today.
I'm doing your peer review~
DeleteEmily Stockton
ReplyDeleteMr. Longhany
ENC 1102
4-7-14
RESULTS
After completing extension research, I noticed some generalizations that could be made from the data collected from the study. Unaware of the origin of each advertisement so bias wouldn’t be a factor manipulating their responses within the study, one participant made a comment about how Advertisement #1 (PETA) seemed to be geared towards a more male audience. Another participant added onto his comment by saying that she found “the image makes the animal rights movement seem like less of an issue than it really is”. When analyzing their commentary in response to Advertisement #1, I realized that the image used caused the audience to not take the animal rights movement very seriously, let alone view it as a major issue in general. According to the data collected based on Advertisement #1, exposure to this advertisement could potentially cause more harm to the animal welfare movement than activists initially anticipated when creating the ad. Even though the participants commented on the flaws that made Advertisement #1 inappropriate and ineffective, they also commented on what they believed were the successful aspects behind the ad.
When asked what made the advertisement successful, one subject commented on the flyer’s usage of a celebrity spokesperson. Celebrities have been incorporated into a number of advertising campaigns whether it be to sell a product or mass market an important message or cause. Because of their global influence, celebrities often cause others, especially their fans, to want to join or buy whatever they endorse, which could potentially be a useful tactic for other animal rights organizations to integrate within their future printed campaigns. The participants also appreciated how the advertisement attempted to relate to people on a more human level, rather than just trying to evoke sympathy from the use of a distressed or abused animal. Although they found this specific instance to be unsuccessful, they praised the approach and said that it could have been more successful if used in a more appropriate way. When asked how they could improve the advertisement, one participant said that they would definitely make the ad less risqué and make it more appealing to both males and females alike. Another participant suggested that the advertisement should have more text to clearly spread the message rather than strictly relying on the image itself, even stating that “the advertisement relied on the image too much to get its message across rather than using words or statistics”. By relying on the image so heavily, the advertisement may actually turn people away rather than grab their attention since it primarily appears to have no true content other than the image.
I found the conclusions made on this advertisement by the subjects within the focus group to be relatively close to what I thought they would be regarding the criticisms and improvements they said should be made considering the advertisement’s overall quality. Prior to the focus group, I believed that contact with an advertisement, whether it be a successful one or not, exposed people to the movement which was essentially what the animal activist organizations were going for. However, it surprised me and contradicted several academic scholars when all of the participants agreed that the advertisement ultimately made a mockery of the movement and its intentions. This notion indicated to me that exposure to the advertisement may actually prove to be a negative experience rather than a positive one, concerning the feedback given from the group. Rather than influencing the audience the way the flyer intended, they may actually walk away more close-minded than they were before exposure to the advertisement.
I will cover your peer review
DeleteENC 1102-Section 0048
DeleteParagraph 1:
• Ranked: 1
• Synopsis of paragraph’s topic and purpose: In the first paragraph, the researcher addresses some of the conclusions, or generalizations, that she was able to infer based on the data. The purpose of this opening paragraph was to introduce the pros and cons of the advertisements used in the study.
• Key Support for Paragraph: The researcher not only shows us and gives an example of the data for Advertisement #1, but explains how these results are meaningful.
• What works well in this paragraph: The researcher does in a good job of showing evidence of the results for advertisement #1, and how she was able to draw the conclusions she did based on the data. As an audience, we can learn a lot from by reading this paragraph because the researcher shows us how her data is important.
• What could be improved in this paragraph: I think that the generalizations addressed about Advertisement #1 would work better if they were moved to the discussion paragraph, where they seem to address possible flaws in this study.
• Transitions: The very last sentence of this paragraph works well as a transition to the next paragraph. No revision needed.
Paragraph 2:
• Ranked: 5
• Synopsis of paragraph’s topic and purpose: In the second paragraph, the researcher shows what the advertisements in the study do well based and how they could be improved based on comments made by subjects. The purpose of this paragraph was to expand on the pros and cons introduced in the previous paragraph, and become more specific in showing just what subjects had said about the advertisements.
• Key Support for Paragraph: The researcher does a really good job of setting context in the beginning of this paragraph, where she introduces a subject’s comment about celebrities being a pro of a flyer. To support this evidence, the researcher writes 1-2 sentences generalizing why and how celebrities are used in advertisements. She then expands on this generalization by connecting the use of celebrities to the positive impact of their use on the subject’s comment regarding the flyer.
• What works well in this paragraph: The researcher brings in a very specific observation of the data, regarding a question from their study asking about the advertisement’s level of success. The researcher brings in an example of a response, and sets up a general context to help show the importance of this data.
• What could be improved in this paragraph: I would suggest maybe making a paragraph break between the last sentence discussing celebrities, and the sentence discussing the respondents’ appreciation of the human relations of the advertisements. Given that these two responses do relate somewhat, the transitional context can also be built between the two ideas as well, framed in a way to show how the data from each question relate to one another.
• Transitions: The last sentence of this paragraph doesn’t seem to transition all that well for the next paragraph. Maybe consider inserting a sentence that briefly introduces your hypothesis?
Paragraph 3:
Delete• Ranked: 3
• Synopsis of paragraph’s topic and purpose: In the third paragraph, the researcher shows how the results of the study showed a fair amount of support for her hypothesis, and contradicted the predictions of other academic scholars. The purpose of this paragraph was to show the conclusions that the researcher had drawn based on her data, in other words, how she is expanding on this conversation.
• Key support for paragraph: The researcher did a pretty good job in providing a fair amount of context in this paragraph. She showed how the results supported her hypothesis, and more specifically why. She also showed how the data contradicted academic scholars, and the conclusions that she was able to draw from that contradiction. I would suggest maybe explaining why and/or how these particular conclusions were drawn?
• What works well in this paragraph: The researcher does a good job of showing how the results from the study support and contradict parts her hypothesis. She also does well in discussing the conclusion she had drawn based on the disproval of the second part of her hypothesis.
• What could be improved in this paragraph: I would suggest maybe addressing how the results from this study either verified for contradicted your hypothesis in the results section rather than the discussion section?
• Transitions: Inserting an extra sentence at the end of this paragraph might be necessary to help better introduce the summary of the results of Advertisement #2 discussed in the next paragraph.
When observing Advertisement #2 (ASPCA), participants were much more lenient regarding its negative aspects. However, they labeled the advertisement as “typical”, “classic”, and even “generic”, which was surprising to me at first. One participant even mentioned his past experience with a televised ad and how Advertisement #2 was comparable to the depictions of the abused animals and depressing music that was used in the ad. Even though they unanimously found Advertisement #2 to be more successful than Advertisement #1 in spreading the message of the animal rights movement, they mentioned that the ad was still lacking in substance.
ReplyDeleteThey reiterated the need for more text on the ad and how the image couldn’t be expected to influence people on its own. One participant declared how the disturbing images of abused animals may cause some people to turn away from and even avoid the ad. Even though the image used in the advertisement is intended to shock people by the potentially unknown horrors of animal cruelty, in some cases it may prove to be too gruesome for some people, causing them to completely disregard the ad’s content. When analyzing Advertisement #2 prior to the study, I concluded that its main goal was to not only recruit people to accept and promote the movement, but to also donate to the cause so that the animal rights movement can progress. However, even though Advertisement #2 still had some crucial flaws as noted by the participants in the focus group, it was considered to be an overall more successful advertisement when compared to Advertisement #1.
I will cover your peer review
DeleteParagraph 4:
Delete• Ranked: 2
• Synopsis of paragraph’s topic and purpose: In the fourth paragraph, the researcher shows the results and analysis of Advertisement #2 in the study. The purpose of this paragraph was to compare the level of success between Advertisements #1 and #2, and shown drawn conclusions based on subject responses.
• Key support for paragraph: From the beginning to the middle of this paragraph, I would suggest maybe providing more context along with the results shown to better show readers how/why the subjects responded the way they did. I think that the researcher did a good job explaining the analysis she had done on advertisement #2, the comparison between the two advertisements, and addressing the flaws of advertisement #2.
• What works well in this paragraph: The researcher does a good job of pulling in examples from the data as evidence for her claims and conclusions.
• What could be improved in this paragraph: I would suggest maybe moving this paragraph before paragraph 3, where the discussion of a results section usually comes at the end.
• Transitions: The transition from this paragraph to the next seems to be a little weak. Maybe consider briefly introducing the topic of the next paragraph to help create a better transition?
Paragraph 5:
Delete• Ranked: 4
• Synopsis of paragraph’s topic and purpose: This paragraph shows some of conclusions that the researcher has drawn about how the audience of these advertisements is effected by the showing of images.
• Key support for paragraph: The conclusions drawn by the researcher and the evidence from the data
• What works well in this paragraph: The evidence given from the data to help show why these conclusions were drawn.
• What could be improved in this paragraph: Maybe consider writing another paragraph that holds a discussion on all of the data shown in the results section to show meaning for the data.
RANKING SYSTEM: 1(LEAST EFFECTIVE)-5(MOST EFFECTIVE)
• Based on reading this results section multiple times, I found a series of claims that all connect to the one “larger umbrella idea” of how ads can have certain effects on an audience. Although these claims were very clear in each paragraph, I would suggest maybe stating or even implying the main idea in either the beginning or the end of the results section. By stating or implying the central claim of this research study more clearly to the reader, the researcher might have an easier time with showing how it breaks down into a smaller series of claims.
Questions:
1. Did all of the data that you discussed in the results section either verify or contradict your hypothesis? If so, which data and why?
2. Based on the conclusions that you have drawn from your results, is there a way that you could either state or imply on how you have expanded on this conversation of your field? If so, how?
Phong Hoang
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longany
ENC 1102-0049
April 10, 2014
Base on my experiment, I can see that there are a distinct different between Group 1 and Group 2. Furthermore, my hypothesis of the body language revealing more details than the facial expression is also proven correct through the data I gathered. I also formed another hypothesis, that understanding body language can also be aids by knowing the person. This seemly to be an obviously hypothesis, taken into consideration that if you know the person (i.e. friends, parents, etc.), it is only understandable to know more about the person. However, the theory itself is overly stated and easily misleading. The second hypothesis was proven incorrect, which was a surprise to me.
Now, since my hypothesis has been made, allow me to prove it through my research. Let’s start our discussion from Group 1; the unenthusiastic participants. Group 1 consists of five participants. The first participants, Tasnia Islam (first year in high school, female and age 15). The duration of her visual presentationis approximately 19.24 seconds, follow by the survey. The reason I added in the duration of the presentationis because the purpose is to see the micro-expression in and the body expression, however the time spend looking on them are only 2 seconds. Therefore, details are important but attentions are even more important in this case. Tasnia fall in the unattentive group, therefore, the times she only have to look at the pictures and see as much details as she can is an important factor. So onto to the main point, after the visual experiment, Tasnia was ask to answer several questions in the survey. The first question is the survey is actually the most important question. This question provide the most important on what the participants see in the visual presentation. The first question ask, “What would you use to describe this person state of emotion?” This question was the only question in the survey that is not a “Yes” or “No” answer. Using the first question as the base line, the participants tell me what they see in the brief seconds they saw the pictures. Tasnia’s answer the first question using one or two words at most. Tasnia’s answer reveal that she only see the obvious expression of the picture rather than the in-depth meaning. This is also shown through the answers of the other four participants. As well as the answers from Group 2.
It seems you have some good information to provide from your studies but you also seem to have a difficult time presenting it. The flow of your information is choppy and unclear. You also have an over abundance of grammatical errors which tells me you rushed when writing your discussion. SLOW DOWN. take your time when you revise you work. A good strategy would be to go back the next day and read aloud the words you put onto paper, this will help you recognize and correct these mistakes.
DeleteWith that said i would rate neither of your paragraphs as effective. It would be a major benefit to you if you were to reevaluate what you are trying to convey. To me it unclear.
Separate your hypothesis in different sections and label them talking about how you formed them how your research was relevant to each of them and what was either proved or disproved.
Also one of the main purposes of your results/discussion section should be to open up a new discussion based on your research that suggests how further research should be conducted to further the base of knowledge in your study or helps in the advancement of the understanding of your results.
One last tip at the beginning of your second paragraph you said, "allow me to prove it through my research." this is not needed instead of saying this just prove it through your research. redundancy interrupts the flow.
Continue from the last post...........
ReplyDeleteThe correlations shown by both group reveal that the facial expression and the body language meanings are universal. However, the only different between Group 1 and 2 base on the answer to the first question is that Group 2 reveal more meaning describe. For instance, Jose Rodriguez (Group 1 participant) describe the first picture as angry, same as Tasnia Islam and other participants in Group 1. However, Raelyn Sosa (Group 2 participant) describe the first picture as “really angry, like he want to beat up someone.” Raelyn even go as far as describing the facial features of the pictures. Of course, taken into account that all the participants from both group have the same amount of time to look at the pictures, however Raelyn pay closer attention to the details of during her visual presentation. Now onto the first hypothesis; the body expression reveal more details than the facial expression. With that said what we need to focus on is the facial expression slides and the body expression slides. With that said, let’s focus on the first answer to the slide 1-3(the facial expression) and slides 4-7(body expression). Even though Group 1 pay less attention to the presentation and their answers are much shorter and straight forward than Group 2, both expression a clear different descriptions on the facial expression than the body expression. In Group 1, Emily Ha uses word like anger to describe slide 1, surprise for slide 2, and happy for slide 3. However with the body expression slide Emily describe slide 3 as “commanding or wanting to point out something.” In Group 2, Deepak Patel describe the facial slide 1 as “mad, something piss him off and he’s angry by it” then in slide 3, Deepak describe the slide as “stiff or stress because of the shoulder. Also she is in command because of her posture.” Another participants in Group 2, Kyle Cunningham claim that the body language in slide 3 show impatient, “she wants to get something done and quick.” Base on Kyle answer, it shows that he can remember more details about the body expression than he does about the facial features. The response given by the participants reveal that people tend to remember the body more so than the face, however the face does reveal the most and easier emotions to read. I believe that the body is a larger display of the field of vision to our perceptions sensory, therefore allowing us to retain more details of what we see.
I will cover your peer review.
DeleteParagraph 1- In this paragraph the main topic is that there is a distinct difference between the two groups you studied. Also, it was found that your first hypothesis was true but your second one was proven false. The purpose is to provide the reader with context for the next two paragraphs. This paragraph in my opinion is an eight out of ten because it lets the reader know what you will be talking about. The reason for it not being a ten is because there are some grammatical issues that need to be fixed.
DeleteParagraph 2- The main topic in this paragraph is the results obtained from Tasnia in group one. You focus on explaining the process and the results from that. Adding some evidence (quotes) might help the reader to fully understand Tasnia’s point of view. Also, it may be because I have not had the chance to read your full paper, but this seems to include a lot of methodology that should be in your methods section. Try and focus on just what you got from your participants, and then end with a discussion about what you found. I would rank this as a six out of ten because although you do an awesome job at explaining to the reader what you did, it is still a little bit unclear as to what the results from group one show. Along with grammatical issues, synthesis might benefit in this section. Also, I’m not sure if first person is appropriate. You start off using it at the beginning and then switch.
Paragraph 3- In paragraph three, you clearly state the results you found in group two and compare them to group one. You do a great job at providing evidence of your study by including quotes from the group. Splitting this paragraph up into two might benefit you because you mention the results from group two and then provide a couple sentences of discussion at the end. The discussion section could benefit with elaboration. Out of ten, I would rank this paragraph to be a 7 out of ten. My reason for seven is because you state your results from the group two, provide evidence, and then end with a conclusion you found. The only thing besides splitting up this paragraph into two, would be some grammar errors.
Central theme: The central theme of this results/discussion section is that facial and body expressions, while universal, have different purposes. You had the two groups examine pictures and they responded rather similarly. Try and add an ending that better summarizes your full paper in its entirety.
Questions:
1. Now that you have shown the reader what you did and the data obtained, what do those results mean/show?
2. Can the reader clearly distinguish what gap was trying to be filled in conducting this study?
Corey Gross
ReplyDeleteMr. Longhany
ENC 1102
9 April 2014
Article Perception
Participant’s perception of the article was crucial in drawing final conclusions about the articles. However, more crucial to my study was trying to get participants to realize how these Media Outlets were trying to sway their opinion, or guiding them to a certain conclusion. In looking over the results from my research I find that people consistently named the pictures at the beginning of the article the most important piece that swayed their opinion. I also found that in the actual text of the articles people found Chris Christie’s reaction, when confronted with what happened, to be the most important part of the article. After reading these articles most people were able to identify, with certainty, where the source originated.
Media Influences
Media Outlets today have an incredibly vast arsenal of tools that they implement to persuade the publics opinion. The stakeholders in my area of research are media outlets, politicians, other elected officials, and residence whose money may end up being diverted. They are stakeholders because they are all affected in a unique way by how media outlets may choose to portray a scandal.
Of the people 7 people that participated in my survey, 3 of them stated that the MSNBC article was most influential to them. All three of these participants also stated that the picture at the beginning of the article was what made them choose MSNBC as the most influential article. This is supported by the fact that all 7 participants stated they would not vote to re elect Chris Christie after reading the article. Clearly media outlets can sway our opinion. The most profound result of this is that after reading all three articles many participants stated “I would be less likely to vote for Chris Christie after reading the MSNBC article, versus the CNN or Fox article, in which I would most likely vote for him again.”
I will be doing your peer-review.
DeleteArticle Perception
DeleteThe first paragraph seem to be about the conclusion of the experiment and the claim; “After reading these articles most people were able to identify, with certainty where the source originated.” The claim could be back up with more supporting evident from the experiment. Also, if you have conducted an interview or of some sort, it would be better to incorporate some of the results in your discussion as proofs. As well, there were a counter argument presented in the first two sentences, so further elaborating why the crucial part of the study was to get the participants to realize how Media can sway their opinion. I think by expanding the first paragraph (with relevant informations such as some example from the experiments like a quote) would have definitely make it stronger.
Media Influences
Similar with the first paragraph, the focus of the second paragraph center around the claims that are made from the experiment. As well, the second paragraph does not hold much evidences. However, there are uses of the experiment results to incorporate in the second paragraph, like mentioning the number of people in the survey and how many states that the “MSNBS article was most influential to them.” I think it would also be stronger for the second paragraph is you also try to insert in the other view point of the other four participants, as a counter argument. Also, I would advise not to use words such as, “many” and “profound” because it makes the argument less credibility. Instead, it would be better to use actual precise number gather from your experiment, therefore making the credibility of your argument stronger.
Even though the both paragraph could still use some improvement, I believes the second paragraph is the stronger one because it contain more informations and details with supporting evident.
Questions:
Were the articles presented to the participants bias in anyway?
How did you conduct the survey, group or individual?
Nathan Guenther
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longhany
ENC 1102 – 0049
April 10, 2014
Results / Discussion
Following the completion of the survey and analyzing the data, an overview of the results showed some clear trends among college students. There is no doubt that ethical issues surrounding technology were a true concern to the majority of people.
Over-exaggerated issues?
I asked everyone the question: “Do you think any privacy issue are being over exaggerated, and maybe not issues at all, if so which?” The results were essentially unanimous except a few people saying people should stop worrying so much if they have nothing to hide. Over eighty-five percent of participants agreed that privacy is very important and relevant to all of us, and is not being respected by our government and peers. Ten percent of them said public surveillance and webcams are over exaggerated, or privacy is dead and a thing of the past. The remaining 5 percent did not answer or had no opinion in this area. What this shows is that most people are aware that their information is being gathered, and even if they don’t know all the details, they understand something is going on and aren’t fully comfortable with it. I believe more and more people are realizing privacy is a huge deal and starting to form their own opinions on the issue. Knowing that the issue is relevant and acknowledged by most, it allowed me to dive deeper into more specific questions and detailed opinions.
Correlation between trust and optimism
My next conclusion stemmed from a couple 1 to 5 rating questions that gave a correction between a participants trust in other citizen’s ethics with technology, and their belief in society to overcome these issues. I asked the question “How much do you trust your fellow citizens to follow a code of ethics when using technology”, followed by “How optimistic are you in seeing these issues resolved, despite the big changes that are necessary to happen beforehand?” The conclusion here I had an idea of what might happen, but the results were less mixed than I originally thought. People who voted to have less trust in their citizens, also tended to be less optimistic about their future. Although there were cases were one felt they couldn't trust others with their information, yet still believed that things will ultimately work out, in general the correlation was about 90% of people who had little trust, also lacked hope. The opposite is true for people who had faith in others respect, roughly 85% also believed the issues would be solved. Interestingly enough almost half of my participants voted neutral on the first question, which prevented me from seeing a correlation to the follow-up question. However looking just at the belief question alone, the results were almost evenly spread from 1 to 5.
Limitations
A larger group of participants would have likely gave some more interesting data, but I would expect very similar results. There are millions of college students across the nation, and a sample size of 34 is severely limiting in the conclusions I could draw. One option if I were to redo the survey, would be to remove the neutral option to force people to pick a side. I also wished I worded some of the questions a little differently, but changing them mid test would have void the results so I stuck with them. The final issue I had is some of my questions purpose or intents were not as clear as I had originally thought. In a few cases I had to clarify what I meant to participants, which slightly skewed my results.
Paragraph 1:
DeleteThis is a good intro paragraph. Maybe describe the ethical issues in your intro so readers will get a better understanding of your facts.
Paragraph 2:
This paragraph is concise and to the point. Maybe add more questions from your survey that shows that individuals are aware and do not care about their privacy.
I rate this paragraph the highest because it is direct. Readers don’t have to search for what you expected from your study or your results. In my opinion, this is your strongest paragraph.
Paragraph 3:
This paragraph is also very concise. That is good because you show your questions, your expectations, and the results. I would suggest maybe rearranging your sentences for clarity; the wording of some of your sentences makes the sentence hard to understand.
Paragraph 4:
I think listing your limitations is a good idea. It shows that your research has room to grow and improve from this initial study. Maybe you should include a bigger description of how you think having a larger sample size or different questions would alter your findings.
The point of your research is easily found, but could be better explained in your intro. Overall, this is a strong analysis and gets the point across.
Would providing direct quotes from your surveys help strengthen your analysis?
How did your limitations shape your research and your findings?
Vicky Lam
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longhany
ENC 1102-0048
April 10, 2014
Conducting an interview with four individuals, they were all asked what their definition of conformity was to them. They all came to a general consensus on what conformity was. My hypothesis for this research was that an individual has been strongly influenced by conformity and chose to completely assimilate to Anglo-Conformity, but woke up and realized that they should be proud of who they are and become their own individual person. Anglo Conformity is the state in which “the most prevalent ideology in American history is the belief on the part of ‘native Americans’ that foreigners should give up their past cultural identity entirely and take on the social and cultural habiliments of their new homeland.” (sdonline).” The interviewee’s have expressed their opinions on how Anglo-Conformity is becoming more prevalent in American culture.
An example that I presented to the interviewees was the Coca Cola commercial aired during the Superbowl. The interviewees were asked their opinions on what they thought about the commercial which was an advertisement with the song “America the Beautiful” sung in different languages. Many liked the commercial and thought that it was a good way of representing what America is striving to be: a melting pot of different cultures. The interviewee’s did not understand why I showed them commercial because it was just a song that was covered in different languages, just like Frozen’s “Let It Go” song. They then understood why I showed it to them because in my follow up, I showed them the responses people had left to Coke concerning the commercial. The freshman interviewee was appalled with the ignorant responses and did not like how people were being so negative about a commercial that was sung in a different language. The sophomore thought that a song did not need to be the objectivity of hatred because of the language it was sung in. The junior went on to say that “most ‘white’ people are European so please just learn about yourself (your origins) before judging.” The senior stated that the “#SpeakAmerican is the type of response that make other countries dislike American people because they are too prideful on something that isn’t theirs in the first place.” After looking at these responses myself, I saw that many of these people thought that in order to be American, the only requirement you need is to speak English as well as
The interviewees have not been strongly influence by conformity in a negative way nor have they assimilated completely to Anglo-Conformity, against my hypothesis. They have each experienced conformity issues that affect them in different ways in their life but they all did not let that stop them and they used those past experiences to continue on a new path, supporting my hypothesis.
The junior stated that conformity has neither a negative impact nor a positive impact in their life today. They stated that their main goal is to “educate people in things they don’t know.” The junior stated this because as a young child, they has been picked on by people who were ignorant to their culture and they felt offended by those people. So instead of choosing a route that would have been detrimental to their life, they chose to go out and teach people about their culture so that their students, acquaintance or whoever else will be taught what their culture is about. The sophomore, on the other hand, has not been too self-conscious of their culture like the junior has, but instead they has been very self-conscious about her personality which resulted in low-esteem that they are still building to this day. The sophomore tried to fit in with kids around the same age group and always followed the status quo of the time period. However as they grew up, they realized “that the people around me aren’t representations of who I was.” Overall the interviewees could agree that they all have had conformity affect them, but more so in a positive way that pushed them to strive forward and become their own person at their own pace.
I will be doing your peer review
DeleteParagraph 1:
DeleteThe first paragraph sets up the concept of the overall project by defining conformity and begins to state how the study was done.
- Although the introduction paragraph provides information leading into how the study was completed, the paragraph's focus is more on the issue and definition of conformity rather than the actual study.
- Out of 10, I give the first paragraph a 7 in effectiveness because it provides a precise and detailed introduction to the study and its overall purpose. However, even though it begins to set up the study, the information could have been extracted and used in a different paragraph that was more focused on the interviewing process.
Paragraph 2:
The second paragraph provided more insight as to how the study was actually conducted. Although repetitive at some points, I found that this paragraph was more focused than the previous one, but lacked in organization.
- Not only did the paragraph include direct quotations from the interviewees, it also provided a detailed explanation as to how the study was done and what the participants were exposed to.
- However, I found that this paragraph was lacking in analysis. It did not explain why the exposure to the commercials was important in identifying how the participants were impacted by conformity.
- Out of 10, I give this paragraph a 6 in effectiveness. Although the paragraph sets up the premise of the study and how it was conducted, I feel as though it is lacking true detail about how this applies to what you were attempting to get out of the study. It did not explain how the reactions or responses to the commercial tied into how the participants lives' were or weren't shaped by the concept of conformity.
Paragraph 3:
The third paragraph seemed out of place and could've been easily incorporated into the fourth paragraph with a little revision.
- As far as effectiveness goes, this paragraph receives a 3. The information in the paragraph is crucial since it discusses the researcher's original hypothesis compared to the data she analyzed once the study was completed, but this point could have been easily incorporated into your fourth paragraph.
Paragraph 4:
The fourth paragraph was the most lengthy one and included the most detail concerning the data collected from the interviews. It describes how the participants reacted when they were exposed to the comments people made regarding the commercial.
- Out of 10, I give this paragraph a 7. Even though the paragraph is detailed and includes direct quotations from the interviewees themselves, I found there to be a lack of organization within the paragraph.
- The paragraph fails to provide support for the conclusions drawn from the data collected and leaves the reader wondering how the researcher was able to gather that information from the study and how the commercial was relevant in receiving those responses.
Central Theme:
The central theme of the results section was to identify how conformity has impacted the lives of individuals, specifically college students. The researcher really manages to get the point of the study across and even restates in almost every paragraph. To improve this section, I would stress the importance of the data collected from the study and how it actually ties together with the overarching theme. There appears to be assumptions made in the final paragraph and it is not clearly explained how you arrived at those assumptions. More detail and organization would make the piece easier for the reader to follow. I appreciated your usage of direct quotations from the actual interviews you conducted. It provided insight and support to back up your claims made in previous paragraphs.
Questions:
1. What is the importance behind the data collected from your study and how does it tie into your overall purpose?
2. How did you ultimately arrive at your conclusion for the study?
Brianna Ray
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longhany
ENC 1102-0048
April 10, 2014
After conducting a surveying of 35 students on the factors that influence their career and major decisions, certain factors stood out among the rest. College students were asked to rank certain factors and how much influence they had. The most widely chosen influential factor was the income that students hope to gain from their career. On a scale of 1-5, 10 out of the 35 students rated income as a 5 on the influential scale. Even higher were 13 of the students that ranked it as a 4. On average, the rating for the income students hope to gain was 3.74 out of 5. Not far behind on the influential scale were hobbies with an average rating of 3.69. Out of the entire survey, 12 students chose to rank this as 5 and their most influential factor and only 2 ranked this as 5 and not very influential at all. Not surprisingly, the factor celebrities/athletes fared the worst on the scale. This factor had an average rating of 1.76 with over 52% of the participants ranking this as the lowest possible option.
Later in the survey, students were asked to write down the factors that they ranked the highest and the reasons behind it. Overwhelmingly, income and hobbies were the answers that appeared the most and for similar reasons among the students. For the students that chose income as their highest and most important influence, many said that they chose this because they want to live a comfortable lifestyle once they are older and be able to provide for future children. One surveyor said that they want to be able to have fun when they are older and they need money to be able to do that. Another said that they chose income along with their parents as the most influential factors because their parents would tell them it’s best to have a job that pays well.
The other factor that showed up numerous times in the written section was hobbies. Many said this was their highest ranking because they want to be able to have a career that they will enjoy and be interested in. One said that they chose this because they want to do something that they will love to wake up to and another wrote that they chose this because if you chose something that you love, you will never have to work a day in your life. The only other two factors that were mentioned in the written portion was teachers and parents and only by one person each. The surveyor who said a teacher was the most influential factor was because without this teacher and the course they took in high school, they would not have chosen the major of computer science. The student that said their parents were the most influential factor wrote that because their dad convinced them to follow their heart when choosing a major, instead of doing something just for the money.
After seeing the results from this survey, I can say the responses do not seem very surprising. Majority of students chose either income or hobbies as the factors that influenced them the most in their career and major decision. The economy is not what it used to be and job and money security are things that many people want to have in their lives. Today, there are many people who struggle to find jobs and if they do, do not make enough money to live comfortably. Students are making the decisions that they think will better their futures financially, so income as the top factor makes perfect sense. On the other side of the coin are the people who are choosing to follow their hearts and go with majors and careers that interest and excite them more than anything. This is also a choice that I feel is easily predicted because of the time that you will spend at your job. College students are passionate and excited and they want to translate that over to their future careers as well.
I will do your peer review!
DeleteParagraph 1:
DeleteParagraph 1 establishes the foundation of the results with mathematical means.
- I liked how your fist few sentences reiterated your methods because it made it easier as a reader to follow and engage. In the sentence talking about income, I think inserting “The most widely chosen influential factor was the **amount of** income that students hope to gain from their **future** career. Then insert the statistical data to support this followed with some analysis on why this was the most important factor. Concluding the previous statement, then list the second most influential factor followed by statistical data and analysis- and so on. For a reader the logical flow of the paragraph helps to understand it so the reader does not have to go back to read over the numbers confused as to what goes where.
- I would score this paragraph a 6. I liked how the experiment was briefly summarized your experiment. I think you could improve on the logical flow (which is just moving a few sentences around!)
Paragraph 2:
Paragraph 2 elaborates on paragraph 1 linking the gaps on analysis and demonstrating the reasons why those factors were the most picked/ of importance.
-This paragraph seems to be the set up to the analysis of what paragraph 1’s findings were. If you wanted to, you could easily restructure this paragraph and combine it with paragraph 1. Paragraph 2 serves as the analysis that was missing in paragraph 1. For example: context, the statistical data, analysis using a combination of your participants’ responses and your own analysis. This way you are combining both paragraphs into one clear and flowing idea.
- I would score this paragraph a 5.5 because the foundation is there and I think that by combining para 1&2 and teasing out further analysis on all the topics would show a strong and powerful results section.
Paragraph 3:
Paragraph 3 discusses the other important factor of hobbies that influence a person’s career choice.
- The paragraph explains the second most important factor, which is definitely deserving of its own paragraph. I would include the stats you discovered to refresh the readers mind. Other than that, I would say this paragraph is one of your best. I would like to also say that it would be beneficial to go beyond your statements and explain why or provide insight.
- I would score this paragraph a 6. The ideas are all there, but they need to be discussed more with insight.
Paragraph 4:
The third paragraph shows the results further and hinting at the analysis.
- After the second sentence I would follow up with your hypothesis. Why exactly was it not surprising? Did this support your hypothesis? You are assuming the reader already knows the trend but have not yet addressed the results in comparison to your hypothesis.
- I would give this paragraph a 6. What is the threshold that divides those willing to explore what they love vs. what pays well? What type of people lean which way? Questions such as these will expand your analysis. The message is in your paragraph, I would just suggest elaborating and setting up as much context as you can.
The central theme according to my reading would be that the most important factors when deciding a career path are the amount of income generated and a personal love for a field. Aside from these two major influences, people such as teachers, parents, and peers serve as motivators and can have the power to redirect your interests. Amount of income and personal interest in a field are not absolute when journeying on a career quest. Your final paragraph should demonstrate this and also include your hypothesis and why was it hypothesized- not just a general broad statement- but also something much more in depth.
Questions:
1. After every statement that seems self-explanatory to you, ask yourself “why is this not surprising?” How can I further my analyses?
2. What was your hypothesis? How can I demonstrate it better in my paragraphs?
Alexsis Mercado
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longany
ENC 1102
April 10, 2014
All participants addressed the fundamental question examining the consistency of a preconceived bias in network attribution. All participants marked that they did have a preconceived bias about both networks going into the questionnaire. A unanimous concurrence stated that FOX was ideologically based toward the Conservative spectrum and CNN was ideologically based toward the Liberal spectrum. Upon completing both the articles, two out of the four participants (A&B) changed their preconceived network ideological bias to both articles being more moderate. The other two participants (C&D) felt that FOX remained Conservative, but CNN became more moderate. Interestingly, to my surprise, participants C&D engaged in the behavior of the Hostile Media Phenomenon. Participants C&D indicated that they were politically affiliated as Democrats and they proceeded to believe that FOX was indeed Conservative, but CNN was actually more moderate. Participant C stated that the preconceived bias “actually furthered [the bias]” unsure if it was “due to that fact you already came in with a bias.” Participant D seemed to also concur stating that “if you go into an article thinking that it is going to be conservative,” then as you read you begin to think “oh yeah! This is Conservative.” Participant A, Republican, disagreed to an extent stating, “for me [the articles] were a lot more moderate than I had expected- especially the CNN one- [the author] really wasn’t against [Stand Your Ground].” This find is interesting because The Hostile Media Phenomenon describes the two different political affiliations as acting the same in that both parties believe that the opposite ideology is biased against them. This was not the case in my research. The Republican (A) and Independent (B) both felt that the networks were mostly moderate- whereas both Democrats (C&D) believed that Fox was still Conservative but CNN was actually moderate. From my own analysis I can predict that these results happened based on their own position on their political spectrum. The Republican (A) and Independent (B) are not ideologues but are rather moderate in their own political affiliations. Both Democrats seem to be more of ideologues on their Political spectrum thus a more prominent response to FOX.
The influence of media was also measured in both the questionnaire and the focus group. According to the questionnaire: Participant A stated he was against SYG, participant B was for SYG, and both participants C&D were neutral on the law. Upon reading the CNN article, participant A&B stated that the article had influenced how they will perceive the Stand Your Ground law from now on. Participants C&D stated that the CNN article did not influence them at all. Participant A stated, “CNN gave a different view because I was more so on the Fox side.” In the questionnaire he further stated that CNN was not specifically against Stand Your Ground “but specifically against the wording” and that “good points were made” thus slightly changing his stance on Stand Your Ground. After reading the FOX article, all four participants indicated that the article had influenced how they will view the Stand Your Ground law but only one indicated that it had changed their stance on Stand Your Ground. One explanation for this was proposed by participant B with help from A that “[the articles] are very good at-” “…being persuasive.” So I had to examine what exactly makes the articles so persuasive? Participant C thought that it was “wording the articles a certain way.” Jumping into the conversation, participant D stated that “[the authors] appeal to your stance whether you’re republican or democrat- they know how to appeal to your political party.” According to this statement, a person who is independent or moderate in their political party could very well be persuaded in the direction of the stronger author. On the other hand, if you are a strong Republican or Democrat, you are likely to view news stations that are closely related to your ideology thus eliminating the possibility of persuasion to the other direction. This discovery had changed my view on my research. No longer was I to view how the media shapes those with a stance on SYG already, but rather those who were neutral and uninformed. The uninformed public seems to be the ones most likely to be “persuaded” and “influenced.” This is because “a lot of people are updated with news,” according to participant B, and “it is the only way people know what is going on” stated participant D. The news has expanded to be such an important medium that participant A feels as if “it influences everything.”
ReplyDeleteWith a medium as powerful enough to virtually “influence everything,” it should be a factor to consider when researching what shapes the perceptions of the Stand Your Ground law. According to my research, a preconceived bias has the power to influence how a person will receive the information they are given. Along with a preconceived bias, if a person is a political ideologue the Hostile Media Phenomenon needs to be taken into account for. Upon my research, I found that the more moderate the participant was, the less of an effect the Hostile Media Phenomenon was. Those noticeably influenced by my study and those that have reevaluated their preconceived bias would be classified as moderates in their political parties. Those who are more moderate, independent, and generally those in the “uniformed” public are at high rates to being influenced. The strength of influence by the author will depend on which author will make the stronger argument especially if the argument is made to a person with an indifferent stance on an issue. Upon the completion of my study, I believe that more research should be conducted on media being a prime factor in the shaping of the perceptions of the Stand Your Ground law- a factor beyond race and legality.
ReplyDeleteI will do your peer review
Delete1. From the participants that were surveyed most were able to demonstrate their knowledge that FOX and CNN are both bias when it comes to political party.
DeleteRank: 2
• It is found that out of the participants who were surveyed, those who were Republican or Independent political party were not ideologues, while the Democrats who were surveyed demonstrated more ideologue traits.
• The republican (A) and Independent (B) both felt that the networks were mostly moderate- whereas both Democrats (C&D) believed that Fox was still Conservative but CNN was actually moderate.
• Disproves the claim that “The Hostile Media Phenomenon describes the two different political affiliations as acting the same in that both parties believe that the opposite ideology is biased against them.
• Adding a transition at the end of this paragraph will help.
2. Good use of wording is used in political articles in order to persuade people on certain topics. People who are uninformed or have an independent political party are more likely to be persuaded by said articles than those who are of the Democratic or Republican political parties.
Rank: 1
• Participant A (Republican) was against stand your ground law, and changed his views because of the CNN articles.
• Republicans and Independents both state that the CNN article was more moderately worded and therefore came across as unbiased which persuaded them to change their views. “Good points were made”
• However, after reading the FOX article all four participants stated that the article changed the way they viewed stand your ground law but only one changed participant changed his stance on the topic because of the FOX article.
• Shows that participants are persuaded by wording and how strong an author is able to write an article.
• This paragraph does a good job at making an argument and defending the argument. It has the argument and then states the evidence and proof behind the argument and then further hypothesizes about the arguments.
• The ending sentence of this paragraph is a really good transition to the third paragraph.
3. Media has a strong influence on how people perceive the Stand Your Ground Law and people who demonstrate more moderate beliefs are the most susceptible to the media’s influence. More research should be done on the issue of media being a prime factor in the shaping of the perceptions of the Stand Your Ground law.
Rank: 3
• In paragraph three, the researcher does a good job at concluding the result section and beginning with the discussion section.
• The more moderate the participant was, the less of an effect the Hostile Media Phenomenon was.
• The opening sentence of this paragraph is very vague and slightly confusing in the way it is worded. Specifically: “With a medium as powerful enough to virtually ‘influence everything’”
• The ending sentence of this paragraph will be a good transition into the discussion.
Central Claim being presented:
• The way media words things are key to how arguments are perceived and can determine whether the argument will be considered or shot down.
• Those who were in the Independent political party or those who were misinformed tended to be more easily persuaded than those with Republican or Democratic political parties, however Republicans were more perceptive to opposing ideas than Democrats were.
• All participants recognized that the wording of the article determines how they perceive the argument and if they will change their political stance because of an article.
• Articles that were more moderately written had less of a persuasive power no matter what media network they were from.
Questions:
1. What specifically in the articles made the participants perceive the arguments differently or persuade them to change their stance?
2. Republicans are known to be traditional and set in their ways, so for a republican to change his stance is unusual (obviously). Could you go into further depth about this?
Nicole Kennedy
ReplyDeleteProfessor Joseph Longhany
ENC 1102-Section 0048
7 April 2014
Results
Subjects use new mediums of the media
One of the first topics discussed in this section was how the subjects use new mediums of the media, and how accurate they find them to be. To say the least, I found the results to be surprising. Prior to conducting this study, I had predicted that subjects would most likely find medium sources accurate based on repetition of facts of a crime and authority of the speaker in the source. I had also predicted that they would most likely conform to new mediums, such as TV news and social networks, when looking for information on crime. However, my hypothesis was only partially correct. In the analysis of my data, it is evident that the subjects do use the new mediums of the media to consume information on crime on a daily basis, where in question 3 100% of the subjects said that they use the news on TV, and 55.56% said that they use social networks. This correlation is also evident in question 4, where 83.33% of subjects said that they use the news (on TV & internet) in looking for information on crime. These results show that many people prefer new mediums of the media over old mediums today, which is consistent with part of my hypothesis.
Subjects find the news to be an accurate source
ReplyDeleteThe second part of my hypothesis was disproved by the results of questions 2, 6, and 7 in the survey (Full survey in Appendix A). Where I originally hypothesized that the subjects would look for repetition and authority in order to determine a source as accurate, the subjects thought otherwise. The two top scoring choices shown in the data for question 2 were credibility (88.89%), and vivid in detail (44.44%) as characteristics that subjects would look for in an accurate source. This trend of preference in these characteristics is also evident in question 6, where the two top scoring choices for sources that were found to be most accurate in the research study by subjects were ABC News (41.67%), and CNN News (33.33%). In wanting to see why many subjects find news sources to be more accurate than infotainment sources, I conducted an analysis of the responses for question 7 (question located in Appendix A).
The data for question 7 showed slightly varied findings, where most of the subjects found the news sources in the study to be more reliable and somewhat unbiased, while only few subjects found the infotainment sources to be very informative in crime reporting. For example, respondent #5 had selected ABC News for question six, and explained their choice in question seven by stating “They [ABC News] had more facts and had more guest speakers” (Respondent #5). However, respondent #9 had selected Nancy Grace for their answer in question six and commented with “Because Nancy Grace covers the research with great details” (Respondent #9) for question 7. This data shows that although most of the subjects find the news to be the most possible source in reporting on crime in the media, a few do consider infotainment programs, such as Nancy Grace, to be accurate sources as well.
ReplyDeleteIn analyzing the data for questions 8 and 9 (Questions in Appendix A), I found the results to be mixed. For question 8, the top-scoring choice selected by subjects in the program(s) that they watch daily was the news (83.33%), with the Law & Order franchise (25%) and Criminal Minds (25%) tied as the second most preferred choices. I made the analysis of these results deeper in my review of the subjects’ responses for question 8. Based on the data for this question, it was evident that many of the respondents find that news to be a fairly accurate source, but remain skeptical about the stories they hear. For example, respondent #12 had selected the news, Criminal Minds, CBS nightly news, NBC nightly news, and MSNBC for their choices in question 8, and responded with “Sometimes—try to keep an open mind & listen to more than one source” (Respondent #12) for question 9. A couple of the subjects do find infotainment and/or entertainment to be accurate sources. For example, respondent #4 had selected the CSI franchise as their choice for question 8, and stated “Yes and no. Obviously some things are over exaggerated but for the most part I would like to think it is fairly accurate” (Respondent #4) for question 9. The results for these two questions show that while most individuals seem to think of the news as a fairly accurate source, they remain skeptical of what is said in the caution of biased sources. These results also show that a small percentage of individuals find shows like Nancy Grace and CSI, to be partially accurate as well, only with more dramatizations.
Discussion
ReplyDeleteBased on what these results have shown, it is evident that the public today conforms to the new mediums of the media, such as the news on the internet, and social networks as sources in looking for information on crime. With the almost instant access that individuals have to information on the internet, this is the most immediate way possible that they can find stories on crime. In determining whether these sources are reliable or not, the public looks for credibility and vivid details in sources. These characteristics offer somewhat of a signal in distinguishing between sources, which ones seem accurate and which ones do not. Most of the subjects in the study reported that they find the news to be fairly accurate, with some skepticism. However, with the addition of new programs, such as Nancy Grace, few subjects found these sources of crime information to be accurate as well.
Some of the flaws that I would like to address in this study are the small number of participants, where a larger number might have offered a more diverse and variety of results. I also believe that other social forces, such as political affiliation, may have played a role in determining the preferences of subjects. Further research should be done in this area to see what these forces may or may not include and how they possibly affect perceptions of media reporting on crime. When conducting further research, the stakeholders in this conversation, the journalists and reporters, should be taken into consideration because the media today is very economy-driven, where there is a lot of profit financed into reporting.
I'll be doing you're peer review
DeleteParagraph 1
DeleteThis paragraph proves how the first part of your hypothesis as “subjects would most likely conform to new mediums such as TV news ans social networks, when looking for crime ” was a true prediction. You prove this by stating the statistics to the questions of the survey pertaining to this portion of the hypothesis. I found it to be very effective as well as straightforward and to the point.
Paragraph 2
This paragraph disproves how the second part of your hypothesis as “that subjects would most likely find medium sources accurate based on repetition of facts of a crime and authority of the speaker in the source”. Here, you disproved this by stating the statistics to the questions pertaining to this statement. Again, you kept it very straight to the point which made it easy to follow along. Although, I think if you move the sentence starting with “In wanting to see why...” to start the next paragraph, it would flow better and be a better transition. Also, in the first paragraph when stating your hypothesis, you state that the first part of your hypothesis which I technically the second part. For example, you talked about the first part of your hypothesis in the second paragraph and the second part of your hypothesis in the first paragraph which confused me at first. The first part of your hypothesis should be in the first paragraph and the second part in the second paragraph if that makes sense.
Paragraph 3
This paragraph proves how a select few of your subjects found the infotainment sources to be very informative in crime reporting. The paragraph shows the statistics to back up the claim to prove your point. Sorry to be repetitive but it again is straightforward and well written. Easy to believe and follow along with. Good explanation of the data.
Paragraph 4
This paragraph analyzes the data for questions 8 and 9 of their survey pertaining to which media sources the subjects find to be most accurate. I found it a good addition to include the subjects input to further support the evidence. To me, this came out to be the most effective paragraph because your claims are backed up with rock solid support.
Central Theme
The main theme that became evident is that the public conforms to the new mediums of the media.
This is a good overview of the accumulated evidence. Maybe do a little expansion in the first part of the discussion. Also, there is a great awareness of the flaws that may have hindered the research. Overall I think it was very effective and nicely written.
Questions
1. How do the mediums of the media used for finding information on crime today differ from the past?
2. Do you think the top choice of medium is dependent more on availability or credibility?
Tristin Tadlock
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longhany
ENC 1102
April 10, 2014
After watching and analyzing the eight Disney Princess movies along with the responses to the survey I noticed that some of the same trends were still present when compared with the latest movie Frozen. But there were also some new developments that will hopefully represent new trends for the future. I found that in past movies all of the princesses were thin, beautiful and most wore nothing but dresses, only Jasmine wore pants. Similarly all of the princess’s appearance remained perfect and lovely throughout the movie. But in Frozen, there was one scene that Elsa didn’t look perfect where she wakes up and her hair is a mess. She is the only princess that doesn’t appear to be perfect all of the time. All the other princesses are unrealistically beautiful. They wake up looking perfect and remain that way no matter what they go through. Plus, Snow White is even too beautiful in death that she can’t be buried. Which can promote the idea that looking perfectly beautiful all of the time is possible and can lead to self- dissatisfaction when not achieved. As for hair color and eye color there wasn’t a standard look. Half of the princesses had dark hair with brown eyes but the other half varied, one princess had green eyes but went from blonde to brunette, two had blonde hair with blue eyes, and one had red hair with blue eyes. In contrast skin color was consistent, only two of the princesses weren’t white. Anna, the princess from Frozen had strawberry blonde hair, blue eyes, white, pretty and thin. With her, dark hair and brown eyes ratio is equal to light hair and blue eyes. Which is not a ratio I was expecting because when I think of a princess, I picture blonde with blue eyes. When the female participants responded to the survey question to describe what they thought a princess should look like, only two gave hair color, one blonde and one brunette. But three out of five said a princess was beautiful and thin. The male participants out of the four that responded with hair color three pictured a princess as blonde and the other said red hair. The answers for eye color varied from green to blue to hazel.
The dream of becoming royal is another key part of princess movies that impacts fans as well. Five of the eight movies have princesses that are born that way and the other three have the females becoming princesses by marrying a prince. One movie even has a female that her only goal in life is to marry a prince and to become a princess. When asked while growing up did they ever want to be royal, only one of the female participants responded with the answer no because she didn’t liked to be saved and also because she thought the princesses personalities were too similar and simple. The rest responded with the answer yes with some similar reasons for why. Two wanted to be princess because they thought they were perfect and two thought they were beautiful. But one female responded that she wanted to be a prince instead because princesses looked boring. For the male participants, none of them ever wanted to be a prince.
Finding prince charming has been the foremost goal in past princess movies as well as in Frozen. From the beginning of the movie, Elsa is dreaming and looking for her true love. On the other hand Elsa is the only one that falls in love with the wrong man. She meets a prince and in one night, she thinks she has met her true love and is ready to marry him. It’s her sister that points out that you can’t marry a man you just met which goes against all previous messages in Disney movies. Also, Frozen is the only movie that promotes another concept of true love but it does end with the princess being in love. Like other movies a curse is broken by true love but it turns out that true love is with her sister and not a man. All the other movies, have the princess finding either finding true love or getting married. Five of the eight movies end with marriage and one ends with wedding bells that hints at marriage. Two of the movies end with the couples dancing. Plus two of the movies have parents that want their kids to get married as soon as possible so they can have grandkids. Half of the movies promote finding true love and that love is the key to solving their problems.
ReplyDeleteI will do your peer review
DeleteParagraph 1:
DeleteThe first paragraph gave the details of the study regarding the appearances of the princess in contrast to the Frozen princess’s appearance. The findings were then contrasted to the survey’s findings regarding appearance
- The paragraph could emphasize the findings of the study in the beginning instead of including them briefly at the end. The paragraph gives good detail when describing the physical differences between princess’s but could maybe say why this is important.
- Out of 10, this paragraph receives a 6 in effectiveness. The intention of the paragraph is clear but I feel as though you could break up the information in the paragraph in a better way. Maybe telling what you expected the results of your study to find in the beginning of the paragraph would make more sense here.
Paragraph 2:
This paragraph summarizes the findings from the survey regarding why girl’s dreamt of being royalty when younger. The data collected revealed that most of the girls indeed wanted to be royalty.
- The paragraph backs up its claim with the research (only one female responded no.)
- The last fact is kind of brief, expanding upon the male statistic and weather it was significant would be more effective.
- Out of 10 I would give this paragraph an 8 it is concise and gets to the point very well. I understood where you were going with your data and how it correlated to your study but expand upon the last sentence.
Paragraph 3:
The final paragraph expands upon the common theme of princess movies, which is love and marriage. The supporting data illustrates the tendency of princess movies to conclude with the princess finding true love and contrasts the end of the new movie Frozen.
- This is a great paragraph and really shows how the movie Frozen is different than the rest of the princess movies using your data to back up your claim.
-This is the best paragraph in your results section and would give it a 9 out of 10. You give a lot of good support.
Central Theme:
The central theme of the results section is comparing the norm of princess movies with the new movie Frozen. This point is driven in well with your 3 topic paragraphs and I really liked the way you organized the results. The organization being done so well allows for the reader to easily understand your main idea. My only advice would be to elaborate more on your research in explain its implications and why it is significant.
Questions:
- What implications do the male vs female surveys responses have?
- What is the significance in the differences in princess’s movies from the new movie Frozen?
Monica Greaves
ReplyDeleteProfessor Longhany
ENC 1102.0048
10 April 2014
Differences on Mission Work Itself
In studying the differences between older generations versus student’s perspectives, mission work was one topic that needed to be clearly defined. Each of the participants were asked what they defined mission work as, what its goals are, and when it is considered successful. As previously anticipated, the students gave similar replies in that mission work is “sacrificing money, work, and time for people who need it more,” and “going to a place to do service work and to proclaim the name of God”. Their response to what the goals of mission work are, was also very likeminded; “to show Christ’s love and to spread the Gospel to all corners of the earth”. Each student when asked about how a mission trip ends up being successful, said that it depended. It depended on the people going, what the trips aimed to do, and the length.
Generation Dissimilarities
The students seemed to have a difference in opinion in the topic of generation dissimilarities. There seemed to be a little bit of new ideas coming forth with mission work. For example, one student suggested the idea that we might be needing to focus more on domestic mission work rather than abroad. Their reasoning behind this was not so much stopping mission work in other countries, but not abandoning people stateside. The use of technology was also a topic that has differences among generations. The way things are done on these trips might be different now/in the future because our society is changing. We have new, more efficient ways of communicating, teaching, and entertaining. In contrast, another student said the purposes of mission work have and should stay the same. In reviewing the interviews again, it appears as if little things like ways of doing things, or means of communicating may change over time but the concept and goals will stay the same.
Conflicting Opinions about Issues
When it came to the questions about issues with mission work, I found that they had some different responses based on the different trips they have gone on. I think I expected this because all organizations wouldn’t have the exact same faults. Altogether, a consensus was found that the people going on these trips and helping out, had the most influence on if there were issues. A lot of teaching and preparing was something mentioned to help eliminate some of these issues of cultural differences, money, and stress.
Overall, Students’ perspectives on mission work didn’t seem to change that significantly from the older generations in the sources I read. Although they identified more the ways our society is changing, and the more obvious things that will change, the concept of mission work will always stay the same. After all, the Bible is the source for where Christian get guidance and a foundation for this work. Since the Bible will always stay the same, the conclusions of this study have shown that so will the fundamentals of mission work.
I will cover your peer review
Delete1. The first paragraph sets up the discussion about students’ thoughts on mission work.
Delete- I give the first paragraph a 6/10.
- You set up what you were going to talk about in the section, but you can go into more detail.
- Give some context about your participants being students and what you are testing overall to remind the reader what is going on.
- There are a lot of quotations, so try to use one or maybe two, and summarize other things that the students say instead.
- At the end, when talking about how success depends on things, give examples of situations, so that the reader can connect more with your writing.
2. The second paragraph discusses the different ideas that students have about mission work today.
- I give the second paragraph an 8/10
- Connect the ideas that each student has a little more to help the paragraph flow.
- The discussion is good but could use a bit more detail on the number of students that agreed with a certain idea.
- I like how you connected that the reason for mission work will not change over time to your last paragraph; it solidifies your position in the discussion.
3. The third paragraph gives different examples of obstacles that the participants faced when going on mission trips.
- I give the third paragraph a 6/10
- Try elaborating on the struggles that people faced on mission trips.
- Also try using different sentence structures because some of the sentences get confusing like the third sentence.
4. The fourth paragraph makes the point that the true reasons for mission work will not change.
- I give the fourth paragraph a 7/10.
- You are comparing the thoughts of the older generation to the thoughts of the younger generation, but you aren’t telling the reader what the older generation is thinking. Give some examples like “while the older generation thinks this…the younger generation thinks this…” or “both generations agree with this idea…”
- I like that you gave the Bible as a reason for the results that you received.
1. How do the ideas of the younger generation specifically differ from the ideas of the older generation, or not?
2. What stories did the participants tell me to explain their ideas?
- Overall there needs to be more detail so that the reader can get a better understanding of what how you got your results. Remember that the reader wasn’t there when you did your experiment, so you have to give them as much detail as possible so that they can visualize it.
Stephanie Vivies
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longhany
ENC 1102-0048
10 April 2014
Results/Discussion
Each of the participants took an anonymous survey that provided statements about their views on different aspects about animal rights. The point of the survey was not to see what their opinions were, but if the answers changed after the videos were seen. I collected the surveys and then asked them, as a group, a few questions regarding their thoughts on the movement. One of the questions was “how do you feel about the animal rights movement as a whole?” They all agreed that they did not know much about its progress or what it was trying to accomplish today. When asked why, they answered with “people don’t care enough”. I sought to go deeper with this idea and asked why they thought people didn’t care about the movement, in which they responded “it’s not affecting people”. This surprised me because this is the reason that past researchers gave for the lack of success in the movement. My next area of questioning dealt with the media that the movement decides to show the public. I asked the participants their opinions on how the media could create better videos to increase public awareness. They pointed out that the videos are usually sad, which doesn’t really appeal to them. They suggested to instead make creative videos, like the tobacco free movement has recently done with their commercials. By keeping the message a mystery until the very end, such as Tobacco Free Florida does in its commercials, people are interested in watching it until the end. I then proceeded to show them different animal rights videos.
Animal Testing
The video on animal testing was a public service announcement created by PETA. It showed many images of animals being hurt by testing and the types of conditions they are put under. It targeted sympathy and shock in its audience. It gave reasons as to why testing on animals is not appropriate research for humans because humans and animals are not the same. It also targeted cosmetics research, saying that we have already done all the research needed for cosmetics, yet we continue to test on animals for yet another hair spray. The participants were disturbed by the images shown in the video, a few even looked away, but admitted they would not do anything to change the situation. They were convinced that animals should still be used to test medicine, but not for cosmetics. However, they would not voluntarily search for animal testing free cosmetics. They suggested that the video should give a little more direction, such as a list of which companies don’t test their products on animals. The answers from their surveys reflected their discussion. Opinions, whether for or against research for medicine, did not change. Four out of five of the participants changed their answers for cosmetics research, agreeing that it is unnecessary and invalid. All of the participants changed their answers to agree that there needs to be more regulations governing the use of animals in research.
Hunting
ReplyDeleteI showed the focus group a video on seal hunting, which also included gruesome footage. This video, however, used the strategy of having celebrities speak out against the fur industry and seal hunting. The problem the participants had with the celebrities is that they weren’t big name celebrities. When asked if the participants’ favorite celebrity tweeted about a cause, if they would check it out, most participants agreed that they would. For the survey, 4/5 participants changed their answers to agree that it is wrong to wear fur clothing. None changed their answers for greater regulations, where most 4/5 agreed that there were enough regulations concerning the hunting of animals.
Food Industry
The food industry that I showed the focus group was the most successful video. It was an animated video. This video targeted human-wellbeing as well as animal-wellbeing. It showed a scarecrow working at a meat factory and what happens to the animals behind closed doors, without being gruesome. The scarecrow realized what was happening and was very sad. He then left the factory and made his own, natural food and became happier. Everyone loved the video, saying it was interesting and different, and that they could relate to it. They loved that it was simple and didn’t throw too much information at them. 4/5 of the participants agreed that the treatment of farm animals is more important than the convenience and price of the meat. The one that originally disagreed changed his or her answer to agree with the statement after the video.
Adoption
The adoption video that was shown was not a typical one seen on television. Instead of sad images of dogs and cats in shelters, this video showed people coming home after a bad day and being greeted by their loving dogs. Everyone enjoyed this video because it wasn’t sad as expected. The only critique they had was that it should have emphasized pet adoptions over buying pets because the video left them loving their pets or wanting a dog, not specifically wanting to adopt a dog. The survey answers for this particular video were not helpful because all of the participants were in support of pet adoptions.
2. The video influenced all of its watchers to believe that the treatment of animals is more important than the price of the meat.
DeleteGive specific examples of what they said and give their opinions before and after the video.
1. Although most agree wearing fur is wrong, most agreed that there was enough regulations concerning the hunting of animals.
There needs to be more evidence. For example give peoples opinon before and after the video
2. The adoption video had no influence because all participants were all in agreement before the video took place.
I think because not much changed during this video that this section is good because you do not really need to explain more.
There needs to be more cohesion between paragraphs. You section them all off so I do not really see the correlation between all three subjects. I think there just needs to be more detail and more specifics. All three paragraphs are pretty generalized. There is not really a centralized theme and I do not see how all of them correlate.
What is the overall theme between all three paragraphs?
How did the opinion change? What specific part of the video changed the most minds?
Arnaldo Perez
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longhany
ENC 1102
04/09/14
Results/Discussion Section
I’ve been having trouble contacting a large group of LGBTQ individuals needed for my survey. I have emailed organizations in and out of UCF and haven’t received any responses. However I found a different way to get some feedback. There is a webpage called reddit.com where people ask questions about different topics and engage in conversations. I asked a couple of times about LGBTQ heath disparities in order to create a conversation that could help develop my research. Besides that type of research, I also investigated which medical schools in Florida offer LGBTQ health related courses. The reason I researched medical schools is because I want to see if there is a relation between the lack of LGBTQ healthcare courses and the lack of knowledge healthcare professional demonstrate when caring for LGBTQ patients.
Feedback
After asking a couple of questions on reddit.com, I received some responses that changed the way I was looking at my research. According to several individuals, the issue of health disparities is vanishing when it comes to lesbian, gay or bisexual patients. However, the trouble comes when a healthcare professional has to care for a transgender patient. A transgender individual reported being treated like if he was mentally ill. He said doctors and nurses were more focused on him being transgender than on his medical problems. Others also agreed by saying that LGB patients do not receive the same discrimination as transgender individuals because doctors simply don’t know how to treat them, are probably not educated and seem unprepared when it comes to caring for transgender patients.
In other research I conduced of which medical schools in Florida offer LGBTQ healthcare related courses, I found the results that I previously thought I might find. Of the eight allopathic medical schools in Florida, only the UCF COM offers a course related to LGBTQ healthcare according to information provided by the dean Dr. German. The other allopathic medical schools do not have an LGBTQ health related course on their required classes and I did not find any elective identified as an LGBTQ healthcare class.
Conclusions
The feedback I received from the few LGBTQ individuals that answered my questions, demonstrated me that there is an issue inside the issue. It appears that the health disparities affect more transgender individuals than LGB patients. In order to support this I will have to keep on conducting even more research about the topic. Now regarding the medical schools that lack LGBTQ health courses, I will try to contact them in order to find if in some of their classes they at least discuss LGBTQ healthcare. My research is not done and it won’t be for a long time, in order to find strong data and possibly publish it I will have to keep working on it even after the ENC 1102 courses ends.
I will do your peer review
DeleteParagraph 1:
DeleteThis paragraph discusses the steps you went through to conduct your research and the reasons behind your methods. When writing our methods section, everything needs to be past tense. Instead of saying ‘I’ve been having trouble’ you could say ‘I had trouble’ to make it seem like it has already been done. Other than that this paragraph is well written and concise.
Paragraph 2:
This paragraph goes over the feedback from the interviews conducted over reddit.com. I feel that there are extra words that can be taken out to be more concise. Also, some sentences are not worded the best and can be improved upon. For example, the sentence ‘A transgender individual reported being treated like if he was mentally ill’.
Paragraph 3:
This paragraph addresses the other form of research that you conducted, which medical schools offer LGBTQ related courses. This paragraph is concise and explains your findings very clearly.
Paragraph 4:
This paragraph concludes the research process and analyzes questions that were brought up. Once again, I think that some sentences can be worded better. Also, you should change everything to the past tense so it seems as if you have already done these things instead of going to do them.
Questions:
1. How many interviews did you conduct?
2. What were the qualifications for the individuals that you chose to interview? Did they have to be a certain age? Gender? A part of the LGBTQ community or just have personal ties to it?
Christopher Biles
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longhanny
Enc 1102
4/10/14
When reviewing the surveys, a few things became clear. For one thing, people within the gay community believe that those “in the closet” should come out once they are comfortable enough to do so. For another, being in a relationship where one of the partners isn’t openly gay, while the other is, can create a strain on both people.
When posed with the question “ Would you find that if one of you being in the closet would put a strain on your relationship? Why?” participants concluded that this would harm a relationship and would most likely lead to its end. A participant commented on how it would be difficult to imagine being put into that predicament and added, “ one individual would have to hide the relationship from certain people within their life.” As it is widely perceived “coming out of the closet” is considered a personal step taken in a homosexual’s life and this idea of “hid[ing]” their sexuality again is an action many are not willing to take. So usually when faced with the choice of being in a relationship many would choose to end the relationship rather than being restricted again.
Data also showed that those who are an LGTBQ member don’t want to rush anyone who is questioning their sexuality into defining themselves. Many of those surveyed promoted the idea of coming out when the individual is “comfortable” and during there “own time.” The idea of being their “own time” means there isn’t a precise time, there isn’t a precise way to do it and no one just wakes up ready to “come out of the closet.” When asked “Do you belief people need time to develop before they come out of the closet?” a participant said “No, they don’t necessarily need time, they just have to understand who they are and they can discover that in or out of the ‘closet.’” Stressing the need to think critically about one’s self when declaring their sexual orientation.
I will do your peer review!
Delete1) This paragraph reviews some of the things learned from the research. Instead of just listing it this way before proving it or anything, you may want to set it up differently. Have a point then proof of it. Not just two points.
Delete2) This paragraph goes over one question asked and answers given to the writer. There are a couple of grammatical errors here that could be fixed up easily.
3) This again goes over a quesiton asked by the writer about coming out on there own time. In this section ideas are brought in properly but not linked to the quote in a smooth fashion.
Questions:
In what ways can you frame this differently?
Any other questions asked that may have had more impact?
Brittany Ferretti-Manes
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longhany
ENC 1102-0048
04/10/14
Based off of my study of a total of 31 people, I noticed that it is roughly equally divided into people who watch and don't watch crime drama shows. This surprised me because CSI boasts the title of having the most views of any show in the world per week, so I expected more people to watch these types of shows.
People, on average, don't watch too much TV per week.
It was divided rather equally on people who believe CSI has accurate practices.
I noticed many people remarked more on the length and grueling process of the decision making of being on a jury when asked what they would expect, rather than being on the stand hearing the cases.
People were also mostly not sure or equally likely as unlikely to use CSI knowledge to help them in court. However, I noticed the people that don't watch crime drama shows tended to respond unlikely, and the people that did watch would respond with likely.
Sections:
Demographics
-Name: most people chose to stay anonymous
-Age: 18-20, some older as well between 40-52
-Gender: mostly females participated
-Race: mostly whites participated
-Political Affiliation: rather equally between democrats, republicans, and independents
-Major: very varied
Television viewing habits
-Do you watch TV?: on average between 3-10 hours and 12-21
-Do you watch shows like CSI, Bones, Castle, Law & Order, etc?: about equal, a little more did than not
Courtroom expectations
-Have you ever been selected for jury duty?: most did not
-If you have watch crime drama shows like CSI, how likely do you believe that, if you were placed on a jury, you would refer back to these shows to try to handle the situation?: mostly not sure, equally likely or unlikely
I feel you dive to quickly into your research results. Try to write a topic sentence that relates the data research and the main part of your article together. You also did a good job of roughly explaining your opinion to these results, but how do the two of them relate/build upon each other and what does these results conclude. Try and use quotes from those who you surveyed and if not use statistic or percentages to make your point stronger. I believe the main critique is it isn’t clear what you were trying to prove with your data.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMalcolm Harvey
ReplyDeleteProfessor Longhany
ENC 1102
April 10, 2014
RESULTS
After in depth song and lyric analysis of different eras, I have come to the conclusion that rap is a permanent entity of change. Throughout the years, hip hop has developed into a form of entertainment, a political device, a personal outlet, and into many other things. With the changes of usage, rap has also had a major change in presentation. It's style, flow, instrumentation, beats, etcetera has evolved continually. With these changes, there has always been changes in the message. From the playful, carefree "Rapper's Delight", joint from 1979 that started the movement, to on to a more serious message with the 1982 popular song "The Message", which gave insight into the ghetto and urged them to protect themselves, to 1998's grammy award winning song "Doo Wop (That Thing)" from Lauryn Hill which preached about the good and evil intensions of woman and man; to Jay-Z's "Empire State Of Mind" in 2013, which appraised his state for being hoe great and how great it's made him. These songs are few examples of rap has evolved to fit it's environment and the people around it, and gave people the power to get out what they believe is most important to them. Giving some voices to the voiceless.
I will do your peer review
DeleteParagraph 1:
DeleteThe first paragraph establishes both a timeline, and reasons for the evolution of hip-hop/rap music.
- I think your writing is very focused and to the point, however it seems to be lacking in evidence. You should defiantly mention more about your lyrical analysis and what the consisted of. I believe that a more thorough analysis of how lyrics have changed might help the reader see your point of view. I say lyrics because everything else about rap and hip-hop is constantly changing, so there would be too many variables to analyze other aspects. It also might be difficult for you to draw definitive conclusions about what made the music scene change due to the innumerable number of variables present in the rap game. Having said all of this I would give your paragraph a 6 out of 10.
- I think your paragraph could benefit from adding more context between your examples of change from song to song.
- Your central claim regarding the evolution of rap is obvious, well stated, and well defined.
Questions
1. What roll has changing times played on the diversity of rap/ hip-hop music?
2. Has the evolution of both songs and lyrics lead to the marginalization of any groups of people?
Sodny Joseph
ReplyDeleteProfessor Longhany
ENC 1102-0048
11 April 2014
Connotation
The participants of my survey were asked the following questions “what is your definition of a language?” and “what is the purpose of a language?”, as expected the participants used the same words “communication”, “ people” and “between” to both define the word language and describe the purpose of language. This information is important to the research because it showed the common and positive view that the word language had among the African-American community. When asked about their views on language and education, the participants took into consideration the important role that language plays in education and how it can affect a student. As stated in previous research, the importance of language in one’s education is prevalent and the public along with the politicians all take this into consideration for the students well being.
Yet when the question, “what is your definition of Ebonics?”, was asked the previous similarities among the participants was shifted, of the 30 participants 17 of them used negative conative words such as “slang”, “uneducated” and “broken english” in their definition of the Ebonics. The remaining 13 used “black english” in their definition of the word Ebonics. This diverse definition of the word Ebonics shows the split in the views of Ebonics in the African-American community, what is also prevalent also is the connotation of the words “slang” and “uneducated” that were used for ebonics is completely different from the “communication” and “people” to define language. The gap between the connotation of words shows the longing effects of the views that is shown of these words.
Community effects
Among the participants when asked the question, “How do you think Ebonics is portrayed in the media?”, a majority of the participants stated that a lot of what they think or view as a form of Ebonics is from watch t.v, listen to music or even in books is portrayed by the rappers and the “gangstas” that they hear about everyday in life. One participant -we’ll name Alex- stated that “theres an element of danger and corruption in those media view”, this statement was a striking comment. In previous research it was stated that many people mistaken slang and hip hop as forms of Ebonics but Alex’s comment of the element of “danger” and “corruption” in these media outlets are the ones that seemed to be programed into the minds of the public and the black community of those who speak Ebonics. The majority of the participants seemed to also believe that Ebonics is on the opposite end of languages and their importance.
With the following question being, “Do you think this portrayal in the media has a negative effect on the African-American community?”, the participants state the common phrases “uneducated” “broken english’ and “slang” once again in their description of Ebonics and the media. Yet the 43% of the participants that used the words “black english” answered the question about Ebonics and the media there seemed to have been a slight shift in their view. It seemed that the once connotation of the “black english” that was previously used to form an identity with the word changed to a negative connotation.
I'll do your peer review!
Delete1. Paragraph one discusses the participants perception of language. I think the first paragraph is concise and well written. I might add a few scientific facts or quotes in this paragraph as well.
Delete2. Paragraph two discusses participants evaluations of ebonics and what it means to them. It is well written but I think I would evaluate on what terms African Americans to describe ebonics versus what terms the participants used.
3. Paragraph 3 is written about how participants feel ebonics is portrayed in media. I think using a participants response is great, I would also maybe add what media stars say about using ebonics or not using them.
4. The fourth Paragraph discusses the results from the survey. I think this paragraph is concise and explains clearly what you found.
Questions:
1. What exactly are you trying to prove with these results?
2. Are the results similar or different to what you expected or thought?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMadison Peppler
ReplyDeleteProfessor Longhany
ENC 1102
April 10, 2014
RESULTS
The results of the survey were as expected. This generation is unaware of the true meaning behind heavy metal music. They only see the surface saying that they were only depressed people dressed in black that screamed a lot. It was obvious between those who listened to the music and those who didn't. Those who understood the genre talked about the deep emotion behind the lyrics that forced the screaming, demanding attention. The overall consensus was that heavy metal music was bad for society, yet no one had a valid reason behind their claim. They said that it caused depression and that it was "scary" however my three interviews clearly contradict that statement.
My first interview was with a teenager male that was indeed in a heavy metal band. He found heavy metal in middle school and he used it to feel accepted. He was constantly bullied in school. He was constantly told that he was not smart enough. This music helped him cope with the negative words that were thrown at him on a daily basis. When asked how music has influenced his life he simply said "It takes out all my flaws, the stress from everyday life. It just makes me an all around happy and better person". Although the music may seem heavy and emotional, it leaves him as a listener lighter and happy. As the conversation grew and i asked about negative stereotypes surrounding the genre, it was obvious how perturbed he was. His rant started with "A lot of people look at someone like myself as mean and careless because of how i dress and my lip piercing. They automatically assume i am a 'druggy' and a devil worshiper. It bothers me how people immediately assume and do not try to get to know me. The outside of me does not represent whats within. I rescue rabbits and other small animals and just last year have rescued over 300 small pets. They would have died without my care. I have never done drugs or taken a sip of alcohol. I love to spend time painting with my grandmother. I'm also an Eagle Scout".
Paragraph 1:
DeleteThe first paragraph establishes your point.
- I think your writing is focused but it seems to be lacking in evidence. You should give examples of your survey’s results. I would give your paragraph a 8 out of 10.
Paragraph 2:
- I think your paragraph could benefit from adding one more interview, maybe a female.
Questions
1. How many interviews did you conduct?
Jarrett Jennings
ReplyDeleteMr. Longhany
ENC 1102
10 April 2014
Results
After the survey was conducted, there was an extremely surprising positive correlation between popular belief and the data that I had collected about the salary disparity in the MLB. The survey aided the data that had been collected by showing another aspect to salary in the game. Many of the survey responses brought up the fact that in the MLB, though there is no set salary cap for the teams in the league, there is what is called a luxury tax for the amount of money that a team is shelling out to its players. The luxury tax is more accurately defined as an additional charge put on the collective payroll of teams. The purpose of the so-called tax is to keep major market teams from buying all of the available talent in the league thusly eliminating the competition from the smaller market franchises. The money collected by the league from the luxury tax is then aggregated to the lower market teams so that they may purchase the contracts of top-tier free agents.
The luxury tax is only used in Major League Baseball, and the National Basketball Association. However, in basketball, there is a soft salary cap that goes hand in hand with the luxury tax. After a thorough analysis of my data, I found that many of the authors had neglected to factor the luxury tax in with their research. This new information is extremely important as it relates to a team’s ability to purchase talent on a large scale. The more expensive and talented a free-agent is, the more of a luxury tax the team that lands him will have to pay to the league.
Another issue in the data that was collected from previous research papers was that no specific player examples were provided in relation to salary. A lot of players sign big multi-year, multi-million dollar deals and quite a few end up failing to live up to the big contracts.
A recent example of a player that signed a huge deal and has so far failed to live up to it is Albert Pujols. Pujols peaked in the 2008 and 2009 seasons, his eighth and ninth in the league, and was able to bat and field his way to back-to-back Most Valuable Player awards. In 2011, Pujols finished fifth in the MVP voting but added a World Series title, in his final contract year with the St. Louis Cardinals organization. He became a free-agent in the 2011 off-season and subsequently signed a ten-year 254-million-daollar contract with the Los Angeles Angels. In his first season with the Angels, Pujols’ numbers dropped ever so slightly as he hit the fewest home-runs in his career to that point (30) and had the lowest batting average of his career (.285). However, in his second season with the team Pujols hit only 17 homeruns, had a batting average of .258, and failed to eclipse 100 games played for the first time in his 13 year career.
This is just one of many player examples that could have been used to demonstrate how common it is for players to fail to live up to big salary bonuses. Unfortunately, not one piece of literature contained specific accounts of players who made major money, but did not back it up with their play. This would have helped to demonstrate the argument that the highest paid players within a franchise are not always the most efficient. Without this evidence, it felt as though the information within the research lacked palpable depth.
I will do your peer review.
DeleteParagraph 1- This is a great introduction into your subject. You provide context leading up to your
Deleteresearch question. Defining your terms was a good strategy. The only advice I could offer would be adding additional research. This is an effective paragraph.
Paragraph 2 & 3- This may be insignificant advice but I would combine the 2nd and 3rd paragraph since it is the same subject. Would this section be more useful in the beginning of your whole paper? This section provides great evidence and good explanation. Further analyzing would help. This is an effective paragraph
Paragraph 4- This paragraph is good but could use more context and synthesis in the begging leading to your point. I believe that stating more examples within would help. This is a good paragraph stating your thoughts.
What problems arose during your research?
Is this what you expected to find?
From the data gathered, there were a multitude of well supported arguments. The first, was that salary effects team’s success during the regular season only. Team’s with a high payroll collected the most wins and were able to waltz into playoff contention with the best statistics and records. However, once playoff baseball rolled around in October, salary was a non-component of team success. Playoff baseball successes trend toward the quality of the players rather than the quantity of money that they are receiving. In the playoffs, a “clutch” player is for the most part indicative of team wins and losses depending on the games that he has. Momentum is also a big determinate in playoff baseball as far as success is concerned, as is home-field advantage, a term which refers to a team’s ability whilst it plays in its home city. The aspects of free agency as well as the integration of the game, the introduction of the luxury tax as part of the collective bargaining agreement established in the late 1990’s, and the aspect of “Moneyball” in the early 2000’s have all have had an effect on the game of baseball. However, when it comes to the collection of championship titles, the research shows that the teams that have their players playing best at the right time own the vast majority of the wealth.
ReplyDeleteParagraph 1
Delete-Presents survey results addressing luxury tax in MLB and explains what luxury tax is. Well-developed context on the subject. The only thing I would suggest is to maybe include quotes of the survey responses just to support your claim more. 8/10
Paragraph 2
-This paragraph discusses luxury tax within the NBA. Instead of saying “and” I think you should say “but” in your first sentence. It also addresses how other authors haven’t touched on luxury tax. Maybe include what these authors are discussing instead of luxury tax. I think you can combine this paragraph with your first paragraph because it’s still discussing luxury tax. 7/10
Paragraph 3
-Addresses limitations within your research lacking player examples. This paragraph is also kind of short and I think you could combine it with your 4th paragraph since you give an example of this in it. 6/10
Paragraph 4
-Provides a relevant example of a player who was signed but then failed. This is good support for your argument and I would suggest maybe just citing where you got the information from. 8/10
Paragraph 5
-This paragraph somewhat summarizes the last two paragraphs so I think you could also combine them all as well. It also addresses the limitations within your own research due to lack of literature on the topic. 8/10
Paragraph 6
-Summarizes your findings and results on how payroll affects performance of athletes. You give a good explanation of how payroll has effected athletes’ performances. The only thing I would suggest is citing any information you got from a different piece of literature.9/10
Questions:
What were some of the responses to your survey that helped or limited your research? What are the other pieces of literature claiming? I think the most effective part of your results section is when you provide the example on Albert Pujols and address the lack of research on this topic.
Megan Rogers
ReplyDeleteLonghany
ENC 1102
April 10, 2014
Results
After reviewing the interviews I conducted, I have found several adult only children have been affected by their only child status in many unique ways that even go against what current research may suggest. According to psychologist G. Stanley Hall, children are supposedly a “disease in [themselves],” but according to my research, that does not seem to be the case. Despite what many psychologists may think or try to determine in their research, my research shows that adult only children are not typically maladjusted. Subjects stated that some of their personal strengths are directly correlated with their lack of siblings. One subject stated that they are “completely comfortable with being alone and working independently.”
My research has also concluded that adult only children do not fit the “typical” stereotypes that may come to mind when discussing only children. In fact, adult only children recognize that individuals label them as these negative stereotypes and strive to prove that they are far from the truth about only children. Subjects admitted that they may have fit the “selfish” or “quiet” stereotype at one point in their life, but currently they do not identify with such stereotypes.
I have also found that most adult only children I interviewed were quite happy with their childhood, how they were raised, and the level of parental attention they received. In fact, most subjects rated being an only child a 7 or higher on a ten point scale. Subjects stated that they enjoyed the attention they received and even that they would “not change a thing about [their childhood].
Analysis
Before conducting my interviews, I assumed that most subjects would agree or identify with a “lonely only” mentality. However, to my surprise, most subjects recalled happy moments or positive experiences that were a direct result of their only child status. From my research, I can determine that only children that experience lonely or sad childhoods are experiencing extreme circumstances or strong outside influences. Researchers who focus on the negative aspects of being an only child may be focusing on the minority rather than the majority.
I will cover your peer review
DeleteParagraph 1
DeleteThis paragraph presents the results from conducting interviews which contradict the results from previous research and show that only child adults gained more strengths rather than maladjustments. The evidence is a little vague, how many of the subjects stated that about their personal strengths? I would use numbers for your results so it doesn’t appear as just your opinion. What are the unique experience that affect an only child? Plus I’m not sure how children being diseased correlates with child status leading to maladjustments. And the wording of adult only children is a little awkward. I think this paragraph needs a little tweaking and I give it 3/5 stars. Different wording and stronger evidence would help improve this paragraph.
Paragraph 2
This paragraph disputes stereotypes associated with being an only child and points out the level of satisfaction the subjects gained from being an only child. You supported why they were satisfied with being an only child. But you didn’t say what they did in order to prove that they didn’t fit the stereotypes. I would give this 4/5 stars. Stronger evidence would help improve this paragraph.
Paragraph 3
This paragraph compares what they thought their results would be with what the interviews actually indicated. I like how you suggest that researchers may be focusing only on the minority which may explain why you have different results. But maybe you could mention why you assumed they would agree with the "lonely only" mentality. Overall, I think this is your strongest paragraph and I give it 5/5 stars.
Main Point
I think that the main point is that only child adults weren’t ill affected by being raised without other siblings which goes against stereotypes and previous research. Important claims, like how the adults strived to not to be stereotypical and that they had happy childhoods which were not lonely, helped present the main point.
Adam Tran
ReplyDeleteJoseph Longhany
ENC 1102
4/11/14
RESULTS
The majority of my findings focused on dental fear as a child. Interviewing the children was easy because they had a lot to say and they were not hesitant whatsoever in providing honest information. In addition, naturally, they were able to provide more information regarding fear compared to the adults that were interviewed. In addition to the many external factors that plague people with dental fear, I noticed many personal factors that had not been aforementioned. Both the younger and older subjects admitted to avoiding the dentist due to lack of personal hygiene. I found that many people simply feared dental visits because they were embarrassed or self-conscious of their hygiene. They explained how they were well aware that they had not been flossing, brushing, or engaging in the proper dental habits that they knew they were obliged to. As a result, they feared the dentist because they did not want to be told that they should be brushing, flossing, etc. Some even went as far as saying that their self-consciousness led them to believe that the dentist may be disgusted by their oral regions. The younger audiences continued to explain how dental visits were related to fear of their parents. In addition to being told themselves, multiple children expressed fear in the fact that dental information could be passed from the dentist to their parents. The children were afraid that they would be lectured not only by the dentist, but by their parents as well. In some cases, the children feared that their lies of flossing or brushing regularly would be exposed, potentially resulting in punishment of some sort. A teenager I spoke with also expressed a similar feeling. He explained to me how he was afraid of his next dental visit, as he just began smoking and was afraid the dentist would know and would tell his parents. Many of the patients also discussed their fear of pain and needles. This fear seemed to be common among patients of all ages. Numerous patients could recall a specific poor dental experience that altered their perception of dental visits as a whole. They may recall an experience that caused them pain and as a result they now associate dental visits with pain.
(Continued from Last Post)
ReplyDeleteDISCUSSION
There are multiple external and personal factors that contribute to dental fear and anxiety. Upon reviewing my research, I found that many of the external factors are uncontrollable. Although they are prevalent and we are well aware of these factors, there is not all too much we can do to improve them. However, the personal side of dental fear is an aspect that we can explore and after determining what these factors are, we can take steps to progress and reduce dental fear as a whole. For example, there is not all too much we can personally do about the noise or the sharp tools that scare people. Rather, we could focus on the factors that we can indeed control, such as our own personal hygiene or fear of embarrassment. We can not only recognize these factors, but also move forward and take action on them. I found that most people were particularly bothered when they were told things that they were well aware of. For example, patients were troubled when they were told to floss, even though they were already well aware that they would be told this information prior to receiving it. Quite simply, people did not enjoy being told that they had bad habits and despised being told what to do. After having interviewed the dentist, I realized that the dentist had a completely different perspective. The dentist explained how many patients feel as if the dentist is just there to cause pain and tell us what to do, which is incorrect. The dentist emphasized that he is there solely to help, not to lecture and judge. He continued to explain that dental visits could be much more pleasant if the patients realized this. Patients could alleviate many of their fears by simply realizing that dental visits are conducted for their own benefit, not to put them in uncomfortable situations or to be judged. Presenting this information to my interviewees, I noticed that some of them had a change of heart. They began to realize that much of their fear could be relieved if they simply improved on the personal aspect of their dental fear. Many realized that the fear lied within them and could be easily overcome. Of course one could use technology or drugs to help mediate their fear, but the majority of the patients admitted that it would be more beneficial to just overcome these fears entirely.
Peter Nachtigal
ReplyDeleteMr. Longhany
ENC 1102
10 April 2014
Results
When giving interviews about the Pope's new views and the change going on in the church, I interviewed 5 people all from different backgrounds. The major significance I found amongst all of them is that they all said they were not "to religious" although they still attended church at times for important services for their respective holidays. Not one said that they go to church on a regular basis and in fact when asked how many times a year they would go said about 3-5 times only. When questioned about the Pope on the other hand 3 out of the 5 of them said they knew about his changing tolerance of certain subjects and even had read up on the changing situations. One of the people included was a part of the gay community, which helps signify a break the Pope is gaining into that area. He said that although what the Pope was doing was definitely a step in the right direction he clearly felt shunned from the Church as whole still. The other 2 were part of the Catholic church which also clearly signifies a movement in the congregation about studying his new methods. Both believed that there should be no restriction on the gay community and that the shifting ways of the church were a good sign. As a result of the changing ways when asked if the would return to the Church more often with these new ways, one said that they would return to church more often if more significant measure would start to take affect, while the other two of them said they would not(gay member included).
The two other surveyed people were not informed about what the Pope was doing or saying and had not heard anything in that part of the Catholic religion. When informed about some of the changes they both seemed unaffected by it. While both said that it was a nice change in the church and it felt refreshing, they could not see there being a huge change and drawing back into the church without a bigger step. Both of these subjects were not of the Catholic religion.
Analysis
After taking into consideration some of the things said after interviewing the students it helped me come closer to a conclusion that those outside of the Catholic church are somewhat unaffected by the situations going on. This would seem like the major audience that the Pope is truly addressing would be the Catholic church. The major thing that plays a significant role in my research would be the fact that the member of the Gay community knew about the changing atmosphere of the church yet still decided they would rather not return to the church. This result is a small factor that shows although the Pope is trying to bring the Church into a new light the things that have been done so far have not been enough.
Rachel Brill
ReplyDeleteLonghany
ENC 1102
11 April 2014
Results:
After the interview was conducted and analyzed, it was clear that there has been an improvement in the way people view women holding a higher power position in the business workplace. However I am unsure of whether or not there is a difference in people’s opinions now, versus the past 30 years, considering that students taking an online survey may not put their closeted thoughts down.
UCF students (ages 18-24) agreed that both agentic, the more common for male leaders, and communal (seen more in women) traits are key to be a leader. However, younger generation males and females 100% agreed that women have the potential to make great leaders in the workplace, but when asked the same question about men, 6.67% of students disagreed. This lead me to believe that students having known the purpose of my survey, only answered truthfully when asked about males, and chose the ideal answer when asked about women.
The most important question to me is if gender stereotyping in a workplace can be overcome in the near future, and from my survey 60% believe that this is possible. It is now up to them whether or not they will do something about it.
I am currently working on a study case based off the Heidi/Howard study done in the past, therefor my results are still in progress.
I will conduct your peer review!
DeleteReview:
DeleteI certainly appreciate your use of concision within your results discussion. However, with that being said, others may not feel the same way. You may want to look into proposing a way to fill the "gap" created within your research. Perhaps talk about interviewing a few subjects drawn from an older generation.
Good job on pointing out that people may not always respond truthfully online. That's a good theory to bring into light when conducting research such as this. Although, ultimately I suppose there's nothing you can do to combat that.
Your results section was easy to read, and very understandable. You summarized effectively, pointed out a gap, presented the problems you came across, connected the research to your main theme, and even informed your audience that there is more work to be done. To boot, I found no spelling/grammar errors. Well done!
Amanda Swartwout
ReplyDeleteProfessor Lomghany
ENC 1102
31 March 2014
Results and Discussions
The results provided from the surveys and research gave enough evidence to support the notion that misconceptions of charities do affect potential donor’s willingness to donate. For example, in survey #1 (see Appendix 1) out of those who do not actively donate, three out of four of them choose not to because of their beliefs that charity funds can get lost and this inhibits them from donating with full confidence. The consensus from each survey demonstrated that overhead expenses were identified as a major concern. Specifically 14 out of the 20 people surveyed wanted their donations going strictly to the cause. While the 6 others would be fine with a portion less than 25% of what they donated going to overhead expenses. In the essay portion of the survey, participants were asked if overhead charges would prevent them from donating. One participant answered, “Charities do not often list where our donating funds are going to. This makes it very suspicious. Thus why I would think twice about it [donating]” (Survey #2). This was a similar response amongst the people who wanted their money going to the cause strictly. Of those who did not mind a portion of their donations going to overhead expenses, one participant was an employee of a non-profit organization. Their response was, “Having worked for a charity I know that these organizations need to pay bills, their employees, supplies, marketing, etc. This keeps the charity successful in their mission to help the cause. Organizations may be non-profit but their staff and management are not.” This participant had a lot to say from his background of working for such an organization but the other participants’ answers expressed that overhead charges could indeed prevent them from donating. Illustrating this weariness one participant added that, “Sometimes, I understand some [funds] are necessary to make the most effective charities. However if it becomes inefficient, or abused then it defeats the purpose of the charity.”
I will do your peer review Amanda!
DeleteParagraph 1:
DeleteHer research looked into whether a person’s desire to donate to a charity was effected by the way, (or the way they thought) the funds were used including overhead costs, which the evidence showed true, but not without its misconceptions.
- Analysis is mixed in with evidence in an unclear way. I’d recommend to either have a paragraph at the end to discuss all the analysis together, or restructure your response to show the question, evidence, and then analysis in order for each point separately. This organization will also lengthen your Results section, allowing you to get more specific and analyze the data better. Your closing sentence it just more evidence which one can assume the point you are trying to make, but some analysis afterwards leading to a conclusion would be a lot smoother.
- Couldn’t do much ranking with only 1 paragraph, but on a scale of 1-10 I would give it a 7 mostly due to organization and flow issues. The actual evidence and questions you asked are great, and will support your paper wonderfully. On the next draft organize your data into the multiple points you are trying to make with headers, and you’ll have a great product.
Central Theme:
- The majority of people are worried about their donation going straight to the cause, while a few others understand some (less than 25%) can go to overhead expenses. It is pretty clearly stated as your central finding, but if this was not intended than after reorganizing and expanding on the necessary areas, the central claim should be more obvious.
Questions:
- What problems arose during the survey if any, and/or what limitations does your research have?
- What was the end result or conclusion obtained from this survey and how does it connect to your main theme throughout the results/discussion section.
This is really odd, I though my other paragraph posted but they did not. Here is the portion which was not posted. Thank you for your reply Nathan!
DeleteIn the focus group I presented the three individuals with a two slide power point. Both the images were the same but the second revealed information of the wealth of the CEO. After costs were revealed about overhead, the participants decided they would not want to donate knowing the truth upon the amount spent In the focus group I presented the three individuals with a two slide power point containing an image of a CEO at a charity event. Both the images were the same but the second revealed information on how the CEO was distributing donation funds in regards to overhead expenses.
The first image showed founder Larry Jones and his wife crouching next to children in a village with a full plate of hot food in front of them. The questions we asked consisted of whether they would participate in donating to this charity and why/why not they choose too. All the participants answered that they would and that they felt like no one should go hungry in today’s society. Then I presented them with the same picture but with a caption underneath describing how funds were being distributed towards the cause and overhead charges. This time each member changed their mind and said that they would rather find another charity to give to instead, or send money directly to the communities. This study shows that overhead costs can prevent potential donors from contributing to a charity. Recalling back to the survey when participants were asked if they would be fine with a portion equal or less to 25% going to overhead costs 6 agreed that they would be supportive of this. However the results of this study contradict those testimonies since the focus members originally agreed to donate to until presented with facts that around 25% or funds were being allocated to the CEO and his beneficiaries.
Maria Mas
ReplyDeleteProfessor Longhany
ENC 1102
12 April 2014
Results/Discussion
After reviewing my survey it is clear that there is a large trend among the public’s knowledge on the field of naturopathic medicine. Only 14% of the respondents were aware of what naturopathic medicine is while 86% were not. However, the most common words individuals’ associated “naturopathic doctor” with were, “natural medicine” and “natural remedies”. Even though some people know what naturopathic medicine is, all of the respondents were unaware of how naturopathic doctors are educated. These results show the overall lack of public knowledge on naturopathic medicine. They also present some assumptions and perceptions within the field as well.
My next set of findings focused on individuals’ willingness to try naturopathic medicine. Overall 60% of the participants claimed they would be willing to see a naturopathic doctor for their health concerns while 24% said they would visit a regular medical doctor. 16% stated they didn’t know but if they knew more about naturopathic medicine they might try it. This shows the request for more public information on naturopathic medicine. Out of all the individuals surveyed, 50% were republicans, 17% were democrats, 25% were independently affiliated, and 1% were libertarians. I then looked specifically into the willingness to try naturopathic medicine within each of the political affiliations. 50% of republicans said they would be open to it, while all but one democrat claimed they would be willing to try it. All of the individuals independently affiliated claimed they would try it as well. The one libertarian did not know if they would be willing to try naturopathic medicine. So the individuals who were independently affiliated were the most open to naturopathic medicine with democrats right behind them. Looking specifically at males and females, of the 42% of female respondents, they were more willing to try naturopathic medicine than males were. This could be due to females’ typical proactive approach to health care. Interestingly enough, while 60% of people claimed they would visit a naturopathic doctor, 75% of the respondents chose the naturopathic approach to healing when given a hypothetical situation. This displays how when presented with more detailed information on naturopathic medicine, people are more likely to participate in it.
The next things I focused on were factors that influence one’s health decisions. The most common factor that had the biggest impact on respondents’ health decisions was money. 60% of the respondents stated this with some emphasizing the importance of the doctor being covered by their insurance. This has already been shown to prevent individuals from going to naturopathic doctors since most insurance companies do not cover them. Culture and personal beliefs were the next two factors that impacted 33% of individuals’ health decisions. Two of the respondents specified that their Spanish and Haitian cultures prefer natural medicine. One respondent also claimed that they usually prefer to go to a doctor that speaks Spanish. Knowing this can help naturopathic doctors appeal to different cultures by learning different languages and accommodating these patients. A few respondents also replied stating they personally believe in refraining from prescription drugs and believe the natural approach is healthier in the long run. Transportation was an issue among 16% of the respondents and religion impacted only 1%. I also looked into specifically how individuals go about choosing a doctor. 66% of participants responded by claiming they usually go wherever their parents/family take them. 16% search the internet while another 16% choose according to proximity. Having young adults respond to this question was somewhat of a limitation due to a majority of them claiming their parents are the ones who decide what doctor to go to. This prevented me from gaining more specific responses to the question.
I'll do your peer review Maria!
Delete1st paragraph Peer review: This is a good introductory paragraph as you have opened the conversation for your paper. You give the reader a good look at what popular belief is as far as your topic is concerned. The statistics that you used really brought your point home.
Delete2nd paragraph Peer review: This was a good display of the variety of your study. The statistics were good support for the claims that you made. You made a great display of the diversity of your study. Overall, the second paragraph moves the conversation along well.
3rd paragraph Peer review: Your third paragraph does a good job of displaying the cultural diversity of the study. Whereas the other paragraphs displayed the social aspect of your study, this one gave the paper an added depth.
Overall review: Your results section has a lot of powerful statistics and everything is supported well as far as your research went. You do a good job of synthesizing your information. The first question I have is what was the overall point to the study? Another question is how can you bring all of this information to a single point? Both questions could probably be answered with the addition of another summarization paragraph.
Nicolette Maclaren
ReplyDeleteProfessor Joseph Longhany
ENC 1102 – 0049
April 10, 2014
Results/Discussions
After the survey was conducted, it was apparent that social norms still play a part in the military but are not as common as they used to be. The candidates I chose were all future leaders in the military and therefore their ideals would be presented in the military’s future. As the results shown, male participants still hold some sexist views including that females are physical weaker and that females do not hold all the essential traits of a good leader. However, many disagreed to females destroying the cohesiveness of a platoon and that females are not capable of fighting in combat. As for the females, only one out of the ten I surveys wanted to be in a combat role. The females also were more reluctant to have a job that involved strength or endurance training. Most of the females leaned toward the jobs that they have always had in the military including social work or nursing.
As I look at my results, I can determine that social norms are diminishing. Generally, males are looking at females more as equal then as a gender. I asked question such as “How would you feel if a female was leading your platoon?” and almost all the males answered that it determined on their confidence and leadership capabilities. None of them even comment on the leader’s gender. There is still room to improve. As I asked question such as “How would you feel if a women soldier was protecting your rear instead of a male?” almost all the male replied that they rather have a male. The male participants felt safer with another male soldier watching their back. The bond between brother soldiers might be harder to change. In the future, maybe females can be a part of this bond.
The female soldiers’ results surprised me. Female soldiers are fighting for their equality in the military but still occupy the same jobs they are known as occupying. These job such as nursing and social work are mostly populated by females and still the top choice between females. The females I surveyed have no desire to have equal opportunities in the army because they do not desire those roles. If more female do not change their opinion, then there will be no fighting drive to have female stereotypes abolished. I asked question such as “If offered to fighting in a combat role, would you take it and why or why not?” and most of the females answered no. They followed their no with reason such as “it is too dangerous” or that “it was not meant for me”. Females do not believe that they are capable of being a part of combat roles and if the genders does not believe how could they get the right.
Paragraph 1-
DeleteDental fear as a child, children were easy to interview because they were honest. Good connection of why younger and older people avoid the dentist and explaining why. Children were afraid of the dentist to report back to parents, getting lectured by both the parents and dentist. Starts off well introducing where most findings are made through children being afraid of dentist and then it expands.
Emphasize what your findings were with children that were afraid of the dentist, did their parents also not like the dentist?Place more of the info in the first.
7 out of 10-clear intention just break through with your info sooner.
2- Personal experience by interviewing teenager who smoked, really brought it into perspective and felt more of a connection because it told a story. Good job pointing out different fears and viewpoints as well as giving various examples.
You did a very good job expanding and bringing examples because it really helped grasp the information better.
I would give this paragraph a 9 out of 10 it gets to the point very well and it really helps the development.
3-External factors are uncontrollable miscommunication of fear between dentists and patients, dentist thought patients were afraid of pain. Problem solving for patients (patients need to realize its for their own benefit.)Good way of problem solving and pointing out gaps which patients and dentists have different viewpoints.
Central theme:
The central theme is the fear of the dentist and you really drive your points well with the comparisons you make between different patients. You also do a very good job developing and organizing your topics. I would say maybe to state if the fear starts at a young age is it more likely to continue to get worse, stay the same, or get better as they mature?
1. Did the dentist think that they could word the advice or ways of saying things to their patients in a nicer way so that they wouldn’t be so offended or self conscious?
2. Are people more likely to avoid going to the dentist after they get a filling for a cavity?
I forgot to rate your 3rd paragraph
DeleteI would give this one an 8 out of 10 I think you should add more info about what the dentist feels and also maybe if the dentist felt as though they were being too harsh on their wordings such as the way they told their patients that they needed to floss.
Good job though!
Rebecca Levine
ReplyDeleteProfessor Longhany
ENC 1102 – 0049
Discussion
Major gaps lie in the misunderstandings of modesty and forced oppression. Modern Americans tend to view women who cover their bodies as slaves to male dominated societies who are unable to distinguish between being sexualized and choosing modesty for their own purposes. The other gap lies in the teaching methods of modesty to religious girls. Critics feel that modesty is promoted to girls as a way to hide themselves from men and their unwanted gazes and not for their own benefits. Many religious women feel the more they delve into their religions, the more they explore the benefits of modesty for themselves. The final gap is the harsh judgment placed on both types of women. Many religious women attack non-religious women’s beliefs and vice versa. Instead of celebrating differences, women are extremely quick to attack a belief that varies from their own. There is too much pressure on both ends of the spectrum expecting people to fall into one category or another, leaving little room for other styles of dress. It seems that each side views the other as a threat to their own way of life and a varying type of oppression or forced belief.
Paragraph 1: This paragraph is about the modesty of women and the different ways that it is looked upon.
DeleteI think your paragraph is pretty good and gives lots of great examples of each topic that you expressed. However, I think it might be beneficial to your paper if you brought in your own research to tie it all together. You might want to think about re-wording the way you talked about each gap instead of just stating what your gaps are. Also you might want to see if you can condense your three gaps into maybe 2 instead since there are some similarities between them. 8/10
-I think you need more evidence
-re-wording/possibly condensing some of the gaps
1. What research did you do?
2. What problems did you run into in your research?
After reviewing each participant’s responses to the survey questions, I was able to clearly separate the effects acting has had on the personal lives of each participant into three distinct niches of personal and social aptitudes. These three niches are as follows: communication skills, social versatility, and self-expression. Although a majority of the participants can be categorized to belong within multiple niches, each niche previously presented displays evidence of derivation from their own acting style. No significant data was presented to suggest whether or not multiple acting styles can correlate with eachother to develop specific skills within each participant.
ReplyDeleteThe first niche presented consists mainly of those who primarily associated with dramatic acting. The participants who listed dramatic acting as their preferred acting style harbored a bolstering of their communication skills. Evidence supports that this niche largely revolves around the self-confidence developed through dramatic acting. Specifically, the participants who most closely associated with drama referenced that through their experience as actors they have primarily seen an increase in their confidence while speaking in front of crowds. One concrete example of this can be seen in the response of a participant who states that through dramatic acting, “… I was able to tap into a part of myself that I didn't know existed,” leading to an increase in their own confidence.
The second niche presented is mainly occupied by those who closely identify with improvisational acting and its associated skills. The participants who stated improvisational acting as their preferred style of acting hold unanimous increases within their own social versatility. The responses received display evidence that the primary reason for each participant’s increase of social versatility can be attributed to the practiced versatility that is required when improvising a character. An example of such versatility is presented in one participant’s statement that “I can use it (improvisational acting) to help ameliorate certain situations or cut tension,” while the participant claims that the same skills can be used to “…better understand what you need in order to feel like a conflict has ended and your needs are met.”
The last niche created within the study is largely occupied by participants who identify themselves as Role Players. This group of participants acknowledged an overall increase in their personal skills, specifically through self-expression. Evidence suggests that the benefits tied to role-playing can be attributed to role-playing’s ability to allow its actors to channel and release their emotions within a controlled setting. Such evidence can be found in the responses of this niche’s participants, specifically one which states “I have learned through role-playing to help control violent spurts of anger that plagued me from child birth.”
In conclusion, the results presented by each participant can be separated into three specific niches. Although each participant may fall into separate niches, the benefits presented within the niches can be categorized as: communication skills, social versatility, and self-expression. If I had more time, I would conduct a follow-up interview with each participant to shed light on how the skills associated with each acting style play off one another to affect the participant, as well as the magnitude of those effects in the participants who have been acting for longer periods of time.
I'll do your peer review!
DeleteParagraph 1- This is a good introduction into your results. It briefly states your overall findings and is a solid base, allowing you to proceed and easily transition into the details of your findings in the following paragraphs. I’d give this paragraph a 10/10. It was clear and concise and I knew what you were talking about after having read this first paragraph alone.
DeleteParagraph 2- What skills did a dramatic actor acquire that helped them become more confident and as a result, have better communication skills? The “…I was able to tap into” example was a great example, but did dramatic acting contribute to more factors that would promote confidence? If so, what are they? This paragraph does well with explaining the first niche. I understand what is being said, but it may be beneficial to add more examples or more evidence as to exactly why dramatic acting lead to an increase in confidence. I would give this paragraph a 7/10. Just a little more clarification would be great.
Paragraph 3 and 4- These paragraphs were put together very well. They went into detail about each niche and clearly showed how improvisational acting increased social versatility and role-playing increased personal skills. You successfully explained the correlations and the examples were fitting. I’d give these paragraphs a 10/10.
Paragraph 4- The concluding paragraph was well done. It summarized your findings and related back to your thesis again. I found it interesting how you plan to extend the research. Looking into “the magnitude of those effects in the participants who have been acting for longer periods of time” is definitely a good way to further your research. 9/10
The central theme would be how different acting styles can contribute to an individual’s personal life. It goes into detail how acting can allow people to progress in their personal lives and how it results in certain acquired personality traits.
Questions:
1. Did all of these participants find these acquired personality traits to be favorable? Basically, did any of these actors disapprove of the personality traits that they acquired through acting?
2. Could you provide more examples?
After completing the research, the amount of work it takes to be a college athlete was trending. When asked to describe the average day for an athlete, all six of the participants stressed the amount of time put into each week preparing for Saturday’s game. Table 1 illustrates a general consensus of an average day for a football player at a major university.Although Table 1 may have different variations for each football program, it represents each participant’s extensive workload. This workload is evidence in the argument that student athletes should be considered university employees. James, a former football player for a Midwestern university, described the situation, “They [The university’s football program] had every minute of the day planned out. During season, it’s football all day and whatever free time you have is spent doing schoolwork” (James). When asked if they believed student athletes are university employees, five out of the six agreed that they were. Anthony, a former football player for a SEC university, summarized the findings, “Technically yes we were [employees] because of all the hours we put in and all of the money they made off us” (Anthony).
ReplyDeleteFrom analyzing the results, it is clear that the majority of former players agree that the amount of work a student athlete contributes is enough to consider them an employee. Compared to the public, however, two thirds believe that they should not be considered employees (Mondello et al). Within this discussion, as well as any topic, the public is one of the biggest catalysts. With the opposition from the public the attempt for player compensation will be shut down. I believe there is opposition because the public lacks enough insight on the subject which causes the differences in perspective. The more educated the public is on the issue and the more attention brought to the players workload would possibly result in change of perspective as we are seeing now with the Northwestern unionization. The voice of former student athletes are very important and to have people who have slim to no experience about being a student athlete debating the topic does not make sense.
The main trend within the research was that players are being exploited and that compensation is due. When asked if players were being exploited and if they are due compensation, all 6 participants said yes. To further understand their opinion, I weighted how heavily they agreed. Table 2 demonstrates how strong each participant agrees on a scale of one to five. Not only do all participants agree that players are being exploited but they feel that this is a serious issue. Mike, a former football player for an eastern university, explained the perspective, “…these people [the NCAA] make so much money using [student athletes] images to sell jerseys and what not. In the end a university is a business, you can’t forget that” (Mike). These results further support the academic journals and challenge the intentions of the NCAA. This shows that this has been a problem back when these participants played and not just now with all of the attention it has been receiving. Although when asked how they should be compensated, all six participants stated that any salary based pay would either destroy the game or change it for the worse. John stated, “it would have to be something well regulated and equal for even smaller division 1 schools or it will never work” (John). With the amount of revenue generated in college athletics, some type of compensation is possible and necessary. It is necessary because it is completely illegal using their image for profit even though the NCAA is exempt (Hurst 6). With a lot of evidence suggesting the NCAA is just a business, I wouldn’t doubt that they will do everything they can to avoid losing money.
Juan Velasco
ReplyDeleteLonghany
ENC 1102-0049
16 April 2014
After looking at the responses to my brief survey it came to me as a surprise when reading the answers to the first question. When the participants were asked to diagnose the Joker the responses that I received where varied and the reasons why they chose the specific diagnoses is just as diverse. The majority of the participants classified the Joker as a psychopath and their reasons to believe that he is a psychopath with the explanation that he kills people, his actions have no explanations and he kills for fun. All of these seem like valid reasons but if we were to classify someone who kills another person as a psychopath then we would have to also call soldiers, police officers, other heroes, or even somebody who in the name of self-defense ended up taking up the life of somebody. Now if we use the explanation that his actions have no actual reason for them to be taking place then the question comes to mind, what about the Joker’s plans? The Joker’s actions might seem irrational but they do have a purpose, it’s not just undirected chaos. Let’s take the movie the Dark Knight as an example, in this movie the Joker asks for half of the money that the mob owns to get rid of the Batman and when he achieves this goal and gets paid he burns his money just to send a message, while his actions may seem like they have no cause he then shows us that he was trying to prove to Batman that Gotham is just as crazy as they are. Now there were instances where he has killed people with no real reason other than enjoyment or to show that he just can just like in the animated film Under the Red Hood where he killed four of Black Mask’s henchmen when they freed him from Arkham Asylum. With this in mind the Joker does seem crazy but he also has reasons why he acts the way he does. A couple of responses diagnosed the Joker as a Nihilist and as a sane man. Now looking at Nihilism I agree with some of it when it comes to the Joker, in the moral sense yes I agree with the participant because he explains that the Joker believes that there is no right or wrong in the world. When thinking of the Joker he tries to show the reader and the people in his universe how the world is, taking the Dark Knight as an example he is doing everything to show the Batman how people really are, he even brings down Harvey Dent to his level and he sees what the Joker sees.
When the participants were asked to define fear their answers varied but when looking at all of them the best definition that can be pulled from all of them would be that fear is not knowing or understanding something, being helpless, and stimuli that cause the person to believe he can be harmed mentally or physically.
For the final question on whether the participants would fear the Joker if he were to live in our world and the majority would agree that they would because they fear for their lives. The ones that didn’t fear him made a very good point, one of them specifically made the point that the majority of the Joker’s chaos is directed to the Batman and Gotham. This would led them to believe that if he were to exist then your chances of running in to him would be very slim to none as long as you don’t live in or near Gotham.
I'll do your peer review.
DeleteI have to say that your research is very different and interesting. However, there are some changes you could do to make it a little better. First of all, you should have a couple of paragraph breaks in the first big paragraph. It will help the reader read through smoothly and get to the points that you want to make without mixing thoughts. When dividing into paragraphs, consider adding headings like, results, discussion and analysis.
DeleteNow regarding your content, it was very well explained but I believe that it would be better if you first only mention with detail the results of your survey or interviews and then, in the discussion or analysis section, add your thoughts and opinions about the responses you received. This would help the reader distinguish clearly the results from your opinions because on what you wrote you mixed them and it wasn’t as smooth as desired. It would be easier to read and understand, if in each section you empathized, for example, on your methods or results and then add your thoughts and opinions in another separate paragraph.
The topic is interesting and I like how you analyzed why the Joker kills and that it’s not just for fun mostly, but to actually make a point and to prove what he says. I believe that a little bit of organization and details could make this paper even better than what it already is. I hope this helps and good luck with your final paper!
Questions:
Delete-Do you believe people have a misconception on what the Joker's personality and actions represents?
-How could you give more detail about the responses you got from the surveys or interviews in order to help the reader get a deeper understanding on what you were trying to find and what you actually discovered?
Kristie Jordan
ReplyDeleteLonghany
ENC 1102
14 April 2014
After I conducted my survey it was obvious that men and women have unclear expectations of what the other expects in comparison to reality. I really noticed that men felt as though women had such high and unrealistic expectations of them compared to what it actually was, when I asked the couples to take the survey again but this time as the way they would think the opposite sex (or partner) would answer, men repeatedly thought women expected them to clean more, be home more often, spend less time with friends, etc. When in reality the women stated they just wanted the men to communicate more effectively with them, and actually listen to what they had to say; for example one woman noted “take less time watching TV after work and actually sit and talk to me.” Women were more spot on, on what they felt a man wanted i.e someone more adventurous, fun, one that can sit and hang with the guys.
Another problem which came to light was that younger couples seemed to have more troubles although they reportedly “communicated more”, what I noted was them communicating more was actually the use of more technology such as texting or instant messaging, compared to older couples who only talked on the phone as communication, or just waited until they saw each other in person. Texting definitely leads to a lot more frustrations due to the way the receiver reads it and interprets the tone of the message, can completely change the message it communicates. Every couple I asked also said that they would say something in a text which they wouldn’t say in person which obviously leads to more problems as well because something that you wouldn’t necessarily say or is uncalled for could easily be said and cause more problems in the relationship.
From the data I gathered, I found that expectations and technology plays a role in communication. For example not effectively communicating what each person wants in the relationship could lead to unnecessary stresses or pressure and texting seems to cause more communication barriers.
I will cover your review!
DeleteParagraph 1 Key Support: Kristi, in your opening sentence you should be sure to clearly state the purpose of your research. For example, you may state “the surveys I conducted proved my hypothesis that men and women have unclear expectation of one another”. Following this sentence you should establish which questions your surveyed asked in order for the readers to get a better understanding. Finally to build context, you should put what your results were. This will make your research and discussions portion much more effective. More details are needed for readers to have a better understanding. The tips I pointed out may be able to help. You state “I really noticed that men…” however you don’t state how you noticed or what led you to that belief.
DeleteParagraph 2 Key Support: In order to make your results straight to the point try to avoid filler words. In this beginning sentence you used “another problem which came to light was that…” this phrase can be substituted with “another apparent issue was younger couples seemed to have more difficulties within their relationships despite them saying they do communicate more”. This sentence seems clearer and more concise. The comparison about technology and texting versus waiting to talk to your loved one is a great point. However, you lack ethos. Maybe you should add a citation to the researcher who agrees with this point. You should elaborate on the difference between these types of communications to state more evidence.
Paragraph 3 Key Support: Rewording of sentences and phrases is definitely needed in this final paragraph in order to clearly state your thoughts.
Ranking System: Your second paragraph is the most effective. You explain situations which may make relationships unhealthy. This paragraph also has the most evidence. Your last paragraph needs to be more cohesive for better understanding.
Main point: Your main point includes the expectations within a relationship held by each partner. Additionally, you emphasize on the importance of communication in a relationship.
Questions: How does talking to someone in person and waiting to see them have a more effective style of communicating in comparison to texting or instant messaging? Why do you think people would say something through text that they wouldn’t say in person?
Didn't notice somebody was working on the same person as I was.
DeleteParagraph 1: I see that the results from your survey gave you the answers you were looking for, men and women in relationships have a hard time knowing what the other wants in the relationship. Your brief explanations of your results tell me enough of what is going on but not enough to fully understand what the big picture is, of course I might think this because I haven’t read the full paper but I feel as if a more thorough explanation of your results will help.
Paragraph 2: Modern day communication is leading to problems in relationships; the problem isn’t how often they are “talking” but how they are talking. You explain how today’s forms of communication lead to problems, technology doesn’t express the full tone of the senders emotions, talking of the phones does, the voice is harder to mask. Maybe you could touch on how society is already aware of this and is trying to fix the problem as much as possible with things like emoticons, emojis, etc. The biggest things are miscommunication during communication and not knowing what the partners want, both very interesting results to from your survey. Now some possible questions to think about are: what is being done to miscommunication during texting? Do the problems between the partners in the relationships change because of other things than just age? I think these might be interesting things to touch on.
Audrey Ballin
ReplyDeleteLonghany
ENC1102
April 17,2014
I conducted a survey on organic farming that outlined why people either do or don't eat organic. 47 people were given this survey. The survey was made up of 10 questions, 7 multiple choice and 3 free response. The results I received from the survey showed a significant amount of insight as to why people choose not to switch to an organic way of life. Organic farming proved to be something that is more widely known than I imagined it would be. Of the 47 participants in my survey 85% knew what organic farming was and 89% said that they felt eating organic was beneficial however, only 51% said that they do in fact eat organic. So what about this other 49 percent, what is stopping them from eating organic?
According to my research, the 49% that said they do not eat organic do so for reasons such as cost and availability. Some of the participants felt that eating organic wouldn’t benefit them in any way. These are just a few of the many reasons that keep people from converting to organic eating however, not all of these people know the background as to where the food they are eating came from and the harmful effects it has on not only the animal but also them because now they are consuming it.
My research mainly aimed to find out why people choose not to convert to organic products. Yet my research also showed that although people aren’t eating organic they still feel that it is beneficial, they just choose not to do it for personal reasons.
1. Rank: 5: synopsis: This paragraph informs the reader about the results of the survey pertaining to why or why not people eat organic food. The percentages don’t make quite sense, the percentages need to add up to 100, so check your calculations again. I would also expand upon your hypothesis. What did you propose the results were going to turn out to be? There also isn’t a clearly stated theme in this paragraph.
Delete2. Rank: 5: Synopsis: In this paragraph the writer briefly states what the reasons are for buying or not buying organic food. However, I would expand on this and put in your own analysis. What does this show if people are not buying organic food? What are the limitations?
3. Rank: 4: synopsis: This paragraph mainly wraps up the writer’s intentions for conducting the survey. This paragraph needs more detail, expand the topic further by adding more analysis.
Alex Horner
ReplyDeleteProfessor Longhany
ENC 1102
4/24/14
RESULTS
With all of the data collected and research done I have come to the conclusion that your specific race (African American and Latino), physical location (born on the South), and religious values (more of all Christian religions) all play a role into weather you support or oppose same sex marriage and individuals who are homosexual. I have named these main data points as “The Big 4” (Race, Religion, Location and Law). This is not saying that if you fit into one of these specific categories that you do not support same sex marriage but these specific categories merely represent the majority The research data collected and represented below in the pictures and graphs has shown that there is less of an acceptance in these communities. Physical location was a major influence on the support or opposition of same sex marriage. A person born in the south is more likely to oppose it but as their age increases the opposition seems to also increase. The belief is that the older you are the more different you were raised. Religion which was another of “The Big 4”, and played a major role also. An individual of the many Christian faiths showed more opposition for same sex marriage since that is against most Christian religions.
Along with these categories that can cause lower acceptance of same sex marriage another major influence and last of “The Big 4” is the law. If something is not legal then you cannot do anything about it other than to fight it without breaking the law. Data has shown that many states in the United States have not legalized same sex marriage. This is the most important and most likely the last thing that will hold same same marriage back from being legalized.
DISCUSSION
After analyzing the results thoroughly it seems that same sex marriage has ran into less and less opposition over the past forty years, with each generation of people supporting it more and more. The reason there is more support is based on each new generation not caring as much about other people compared forty years ago to now. A good example to looks at is your own parents. Most of them had no cell phones because they were not around then. This is something that can relate to same sex marriage. We as in our generation are growing up in a time where the fight for same sex marriage and many other things like the legalization of weed is strong. These are issues that may not bother us and may not oppose us if any at all. Opposition of same sex marriage in the end comes down to how you were raised as a person (where you lived or currently live, your religion, the laws when you were growing up and many other little factors).
More research can always be done on any topics and especially this one. There is a gap in the research that I briefly covered but which can use a lot more research and that has to do with the law and legal system. Yes there are laws that are prohibiting same sex marriage in some states but again there are other states where it is legal. Research could be done on trying to solve why this is an issue and why same sex marriage has not been legalized in all fifty states of this country. What makes certain states able to legalize it and others to have such opposition towards it even though it is recognized by the federal government? People will always believe what they want and have opinions of how they feel but this does not mean feelings cannot change and evolve over time. I see in the near future same sex marriage being legalized in every state in this country based on the trend that I have seen in past research used for this paper and the survey that I myself conducted.